Why I've Abandoned My New Years Resolutions for 2020| Carenza Bramwell

2020 was going to be the year I stuck to my New Years Resolutions. It was going to be the year that I told myself I'd change and commit to something. 2020 ended up being the year from hell quite frankly and we've still got four months left. In today's blog post, I will be sharing with you why I have decided to abandon my New Years Resolutions. 

Putting it frankly, 2020 has gone to shit. We all thought this was going to be a great year and then COVID happened. I don't know about you, but living through a global pandemic was not on my to do list for this year. I had told myself at the end of 2019 that I would make some positive changes in my life. 2019 had ended up being a pretty good year for me, but the last few months were quite difficult. I was looking forward to a chance at taking control of my life again. I've spoken about how I've been struggling with a few health issues over the past year and how it has taken a toll on my everyday life. I went into 2020 relatively healthy, but ended up becoming sick again. This obviously disrupted my plans to turn over a new leaf. 

My goals for 2020 involved trying something new (drawing), reading lots of books, working on one non-uni writing project, spending less time on my phone and setting time aside to relax. Let's break down how I've been doing with each of those goals. I was doing really well at drawing. I was doing a little doodle every day up until early February when I fell ill again. I was quite enjoying it and I could see a little bit of improvement in my skills. I tried picking it up again but I quickly forgot again. I've realised that it is something I'd like to try again but once I have a bit of free time on my hands, something I very rarely have. 

Reading lots of books has been something that I have been easily able to achieve. I've read almost 50 at this point which I am very happy about. I did have some slow reading months and I have been reading more three star books than normal. I haven't read a book that I would say that I've adored which is quite sad for 2020. Reading is something I'll always make time for so this goal is still one I'm going to consider. Writing on the other hand, well that's taken a back seat. Here's why. I do a Creative Writing degree. I run a blog. I'm also the editor in chief of my unis student magazine. I always have some sort of writing to be doing that I have to prioritise. I never have time to actually sit down and work on my own projects. I spend 90% of my time writing. This means when I have a chance to do something else, I'll take it. I've been reading lots and watching new things. I miss that I don't have the time to pursue my own projects but once I've graduated next summer, I will have the time to focus fully on my own projects. It was over ambitious of me to assume I'd have the time and energy to work on my own stuff this year. 

Another goal I will be backing out of is less screen time. Spending lots of time on my phone does depress me a bit, but I have a reason for scrapping this goal. I've decided that I want to start putting more effort into my social media accounts. Due to COVID, I was unable to get an internship or work experience. I will be most likely unable to do so for some time. This means I am going to be graduating with nothing, which is very stressful. So I am using the wonderful gift that is the internet to showcase my "talents". By constantly creating content, it shows that I can do something. I also want to do it because it's fun. With the new addition of Instagram reels, I am going to be trying my hand at video making again. I do miss making video content and I've been toying with the idea of restarting my YouTube channel. These are all creative outlets I can use to my advantage and still have fun. However, by constantly working and essentially having an unpaid job, I do need time to relax. I have been trying to set time aside for reading and relaxing everyday. If I didn't I think I would have cracked under the pressure. It's something that I've gotten better at in the past few months and something I wouldn't have tried if COVID hadn't happened. 

So going forward to the rest of 2020, what are my goals? Well I still want to read lots, that's just a given. I've been really enjoying tackling my TBR. I've also been loving creating content online, so that's something I'm going to be working towards. But the big change is that I'm going to be more flexible to my approach to life. COVID has shown me that my plans can suddenly be changed overnight. I need to adapt to the situations life throws at me. I don't have a plan for this time next year, so I'm going to focus on the now. Work hard for my degree. Manage the uni magazine and create content for that. Learn and grow my online platforms. My interests in general have changed this year. I've fallen head over heels for film and TV, it's eventually where I'd like to work. My motto is going to be work hard, play hard. It isn't original but it is something that I've truly come to believe in. 

Carenza :)x   

New Years Resolutions 2020 Update| Carenza Bramwell

It's crazy to think that it's already March and we're now a quarter of the way through the year. As we've reached this milestone, I thought I'd update you guys on how my New Years Resolutions are going. If you're new to my blog, then here's a link to my original New Years post. 

Changing Tactics 

One of my goals for this year was to develop a new creative skill and I chose drawing. Originally, I was trying to do a small drawing everyday. I've decided to change this method for a few reasons. Firstly, my 2020 hasn't gone to plan so far. I've had a few problems with my health, meaning I've been struggling in general. Secondly, I wasn't finding it as creatively inspiring as I thought it would. It was forced creativity. I was making myself draw everyday and the drawings I was producing were ones I wasn't especially proud of.

The way I approached it at first was to draw three mini drawings to do with my day, but I soon found I became uninspired and lazy when it came to my drawings. I then changed my method for February. I made a prompt page, with a prompt for each day. At first, this was going really well and I was really enjoying it. Then all of my health issues started and I let my daily habit slip. My approach for March is that I've come up with a weekly topic and my goal is to draw a spread on that theme. I'm going to see if this method works for me more than everyday.

Rocky Reading

At first my goal for reading was to try and read two books a week. I set my goal on Goodreads as 104 books. But then I became demotivated each time it would say I was 1 book behind schedule. So, early on I decided to change my goal to 10 books, knowing I would hit this and I have. I still want to read 2 books a week but I'm only on book 13 of the year. By this point I should be on book 20. As I've already mentioned 2020 isn't going to plan, mainly due to my physical health getting in the way. I have to admit that I've been watching way more Netflix than I have been reading. Something I've been struggling with is lack of sleep, meaning it takes a lot for me to feel energised to read. 

I've also found that I haven't been reading books that make me go "wow, I loved that!". I've only read one 5 star books so far and the rest have been 3 or 4 stars. I think the problem here is that I'm at university and don't have access to all of my books. I have around 10-12 books at uni from a wideish selection, but I'm not always in the mood for what I've brought with me. I have been reading a wider range of fiction and non-fiction than I normally would, but I have a feeling that I'm in a bit of a reading slump. I'm hoping that as more 2020 book releases come out, I'll find one that makes me go "wow, I love this!" and will break the slump curse. 

Life Is Getting In The Way

This is a common theme of this post, but my life sadly is getting in the way of me achieving my goals. I've noticed since my health began to decline that I get these random bursts of energy and creativity. I sort of have to go with it and this method isn't working for me. In the first few weeks of this term, I was actively setting time aside to relax and make sure I was refreshed for each week. However, since I started feeling crappy, most days have turned into relaxing days with the odd few hours of work sprinkled in. I've also spotted that I've become way to dependent on my phone. I have this itch to always be on it and I'm trying to break this habit. I just like knowing what's happening in the world, but I think the best thing for me is to cut down the amount of time I spend on my phone. I've developed this unhealthy habit of after I've finished my nightly reading session, I want to watch Netflix and YouTube. I think I'm going to implement a no phones rule after a certain point each evening.

I know this post sounds like me whinging about my health and to some degree it is, but this is my honest update on how my New Years and Resolutions are going. Are you New Years Resolutions going well? 

Carenza :) x

New Year (At Last)| Carenza Bramwell

It feels odd to be saying this in February, but Happy New Year! If you've been following my blog for a while, then you will know that I had to take a break from blogging towards the end of 2019 and well into 2020. I will admit that this break was longer than I had planned, however I am back and I intend to be blogging frequently for the foreseeable future. In the mean time, this post is going to a quick summary of my New Year plans, a little life update and what the future has install. 

What's Been Happening?

Let's start with a little life update. I am still in my second year of university, which means that I am officially halfway through my degree. It's a little bit scary to think I will be graduating next year, but I'll explain my rough plans for life after graduation in the future section of this post. 

Something I've already touched on is that I had to take a long break from my blog. This was because for most of the last few months of 2019, I wasn't well. I wasn't seriously ill, I should probably say, it was more a prolonged minor illness. I started to feel a bit run down towards the end of October and by mid-November I was spending most of my time in bed. It turns out, I had a nasty cold like virus and nothing serious. It just got to the point where I felt so drained all the time, I couldn't concentrate on most things. So far, my health has been okay and it was a bit of shock to feel so unwell for such a long time. I'm praying that something doesn't happen like that again. 

On a slightly more positive side, my family and I finally moved house. We've been in the process of moving house since August 2016 and moved into our new home in November 2019. It has been a lengthy process and we are still unpacking and sorting everything out. It's been a huge weight off our shoulders and something we're very happy about.

Those are some of the key things you need to know about what I've been up to for the past few months. I am writing a more in depth review of 2019, which will be posted later this week.

Resolutions

I am terrible at sticking to my resolutions, so this year I have picked five fairly simple ones that I am going to try and stick to. They are as follows:

1. Develop New Chosen Skill (Drawing/Doodling) 
2. Read Lots of Books!
3. Work On One Non-Uni Writing Project
4. Less Screen Time
5. Set Time Aside To Relax

I'll quickly summaries why these are my chosen resolutions for this year. Number One- I do a creative degree and I spend so much time working on creative projects, something I'd like to do is develop a new creative skill. I've chosen drawing/doodling as it's something I was really passionate about up until a few years ago. So far, I've been drawing something every day and I'm proud of my progress.

Number  Two- This is a fairly explanatory one, but I wasn't happy with the amount of books I read in 2019. This year, I'm going to try and read two books a week. 

Number Three- As I've already mentioned, I do a creative degree and a lot of my time and energy goes into that. So, this year I've decided that I want to set some time aside to make sure that I work on one non-uni project. I started watching Piera Forde's video's towards the end of last year and it really inspired me to work on project for me, rather than for my degree. My plan at the moment, is to spend the next few months planning this project and then do the bulk of the writing over the summer when I should have less commitments. 

Number Four- I have to admit that I developed a fairly unhealthy addiction to how much time I was spending on my phone last year. I was obsessed with spending as little time as I could on my phone. This year, I am trying to do this in a healthier way. I want to spend less time on my phone and other screens. I think that so far I am achieving this, but I am trying to do so without the added pressure. 

Number Five- You may have gathered from my other goals, that I have a slight workaholic tendency that I have decided that this year I want to make time to relax. I know that this is going to be a healthy addition to my life and so far my only rule is I can't do any work on these days. It also makes me want to get all my work done before my chosen chill day. I think that making time for self-care is really important and it's something I know that I need to do. 

I plan on updating you guys on my progress every few months as the year progresses. 

The Future

Onto the final and slightly ominous last section of this post. What does the future have installed for me? Well, I'll let you know in this rough little plan that I have.

Firstly, let's talk about the future of this blog. Something I learnt since I rebooted my blog last September was that writing three posts a week, while being a full time student and having a life, was that it was too much. This year, I have decided that while I am in uni, I will write two posts a week. Once summer rolls around, I might go back to three posts a week, but that is something for future me to think about.

Secondly, my rough plans for the rest of 2020 involve finishing my second year of uni, which will take up the first five months of the year. Next, I am planning to stay in Bristol over the summer and work. At the moment, I will be splitting my time between work experience and my paid job. My last plan for this year is to go inter-railing for a month. I am desperate to do this and I have an idea of when and where formulating. This will then bring us to September, when I will start my third and final year of university. 

Lastly, I have had to start thinking about the future beyond university. My very tender, early plans are that I might do a masters in scriptwriting. Then after that, we'll have to see where the future takes me.

All the best,
Carenza x 

New Years Resolutions for 2017| It'sCarenzaB

Hey Guys!
How are you?
Happy New Year! 2016 is finally over and this means that there is now another chance to do the things that you said you would do. I can safely say that I failed my 20116 resolutions, but I plan to be more successful in 2017. I 7 resolutions I want to focus on in 2017, but I have some other things I am going to focus on which I am going to list as well.

New Years Resolutions

1) Learn To Balance Work and Play

For the whole of 2017, I am still going to be in full time education. This means that I learn that I am going to have to learn to balance my school life and my personal life. I started to get good at this towards the end of 2016. My personal life is a bit all over the place, with having to travel between two houses frequently and keeping up with reading and blogging. I also have coursework starting in January and major exams in May, so I am going to be quite busy this year.

2) Read More Than One Genre A Month

In 2016 I read mostly fantasy. While I love fantasy, I do want to branch out. I want to start reading more sci fi as well as more adult books like classics. I received some biographies for Christmas, so I am hoping I can read more books that are out of my comfort zone.

3) Improve Fitness

This is a resolution that I set myself last year and this year I intend to see it through. I am fed up with feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I always feel very self conscious around others. I also want to improve it to prevent ill health in later life.

4) Be Happy

I haven't ever spoken about my mental health on here, but in 2016 I really struggled with happiness. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but there were periods were I would feel happy or sad. I want to focus on my mental health in 2017. This does time in with learning to balance work and fun.

5) Be Organised

This is something that I improved in 2016 as in April I started bullet journaling. This has changed my life. I have become so much more productive as it helps me keep on track. I plan to start organising my revision to make it more efficient. I also want to become organised to help reduce my TBR. I also want to start writing blog posts in advance. Towards the end of 2016, I would write the blog post on the day it was suppose to be posted and I found this very stressful. I plan to start writing posts in advance, as well as taking photos in advance.

6) Join In More

I am someone who is very happy to sit at the back of the room and not join in, but this is something I want to change. I very rarely contribute in class and I want to become more involved in the book community. I feel that this will help me to grow as a person.

7) Have Fun

I want to make 2017 the best year it can be. I want to travel a bit and explore the area I live in. I want to have fun with my family and make lots of memories. I just want to have a year that I can smile at.

Two Things I Want To Focus On

If you have also read my reflection post, then you will know that I want to focus on my mental health and family in 2017. My mental health was all over the place in 2016 and I really want to improve it. I hated feeling so sad and empty all the time last year, I don't want to let 2017 be the same. I want to focus on my family as my family means the world to me. My parents are amazing and very supportive. They have done so much for me and I want to start giving back to them.

The Little Things

Every year I always forget the little things I want to change and they are as equally important as the big things. Here is a list of the little things:

• Complete my exams
• Get good grades in my exams and courses
• Move back with my family
• Go to a few bookish events
• Go to YALC in London
• Grow as a person
• Finnish writing the stories I've started
• Be more involved in the book community
• Take more photos- more photos that aren't of books
• Cuddle my cat every time I come home to see him
• Drink more water
• Explore new places
• Travel around the country
• Stop putting things off that I don't want to do

So those are my New Years Resolutions for 2017. I hope that you all have an amazing 2017. Just a quick reminder that my update posts will be posted every 3 months rather than every month. In this posts I will keep you updated with how things are going.

Love,

Carenza x

January Update 2016| It's Carenza B

Hello!
So today I have a bit of a different post, I have decided to update you guys on how my New Years Resolutions are going every month. I am doing this so I can look back on it later but also so I can track my progress. I think you guys might like these posts as they are a bit more personal than my other posts.
Enjoy!

1) Be more organised i.e be more tidy
This one is a work in progress. I would say that I have become more organised with things like planning blog posts, writing in my various diaries and calendars what I'm up to. But when it comes to being tidy, it isn't going to plan. I have been stupidly busy with school based commitments so tidying just got pushed further and further to one side. I also had some personal problems to deal with that meant I didn't have time to tidy. I have also been planning out what I am going to revise each night.

2) Be more confident
This one varies at times. I feel though at times I am a lot more confident but others I tend to be quite shy. Throughout January I feel as though I was a lot more on the shy side of things and that I didn't open up a lot. I am going to try and be more confident this month and I'll update you next month as to how things went.

3) To get fit and feel happy with my body i.e drink more water
This one was going really well. For two weeks straight I exercised every morning before school and I began to notice a difference. I could push myself further and I felt that I could stay awake a lot longer, that I was more alert in lessons. But then things happened and I stopped exercising, I plan to start exercising again after the half term holidays. I also drank more (water and fruit juice), I noticed that I didn't get headaches as much as I normally do.

4) Study more often
This one has not happened at all. I have been procrastinating really badly and because of this I have downloaded this amazing app called Forest which blocks apps while you study. I have started to plan what revision I am going to do every night. If any of you know an app or something for windows laptops that blocks certain websites while your on your laptop, please let me know. It is quite scary to think that 12 weeks on Monday (22/2/16) I start my GCSE's.

5) Do more of what makes me HAPPY
I think that this one has taken over the previous one. I am glad I am doing things that make me happy but I think I need to do more studying as once I finish my exams in June, I have around 12 weeks holiday before I start school again. I am going to try and balance fun and studying more.

6) Write and read more
This one didn't really happen in January, I only read two books in January and did a little bit of writing that wasn't blog post writing. I plan on doing a small bit of writing every now and then as I am enjoying it lots.

I hope you enjoyed this update type post and please let me know if you would like more. Don't forget to follow my blog and my Twitter and Instagram- @itscarenzab. I am so close to 30 followers on Twitter but I only have 4 on my Instagram. I also have a business email if you have any requests, which is itscarenzab@gmail.com.
Carenza x   

New Years Resolutions 2016| It's Carenza B

Hello again!

Firstly I would like to say sorry for the lack of posts in December, December ended up being a very stressful and busy month for me and I wanted to spend time with my family during the winter break. This may happen every now and then as I am still in full time education. But I'm back blogging and I hope I can get back to the swing of blogging. Secondly I would like to say Happy New Year! It's officially 2016, which seems insane but it's the truth! This year I have come up with 6 things I wish to achieve in the year 2016, I had planned on doing 16 but I feel like that would be too much pressure. Without further ado, here are my New Years Resolutions!

In no particular order here are the 6 things I want to do in 2016:

1) Be more organised i.e be more tidy

At times I am a very organised person, but the majority of the time I'm not. So I want to be more organised to make 2016 a less stressed year. This involves packing my bag the night before and keeping my room and desk tidy at all times.

2) Be more confident 

I want to be more confident in 2016 as I feel like at times my lack of self-confidence holds me back and I care too much about what others think about me. I want to make 2016 as stress free as possible.

3) To get fit and feel happy with my body i.e drink more water 

For a long time I have felt unhappy with the way I look and I want that to change. I want to be healthier and drink more water now so that it doesn't affect me when I'm older.

4) Study more often 

I want to start studying more often instead of cramming and panicking. I want to manage my time better and revise at least 4 times a week to start with for at least an hour. Cramming is not the best to revise and I realise it works for some but not for me.

5) Do more of what makes ME happy 

I want to make 2016 a year to remember and I want to make it a happy year, I'm not saying that I'm not happy, I'm saying I want it to be happier than previous years. I want to blog about things I love not things I think people want to read. I want to blog about books and culture more, take a step away from beauty posts (though I probably still will be posting some).

6) Write and read more

I want to do more reading this year and make time for more reading. At the moment I am only reading before I go to bed but I want to make more time for it. I also want to write more, whether it's stories or songs or blog posts, I love writing and want to do more.

So those are my New Years resolutions for this year and I will update you at some point as to how they are going. Thank you for sticking with me for the last 6 months and I hope there is more to come. Don't forget to follow me on my Instagram and Twitter @itscarenzab.

Happy New Years!

Carenza x