How to Stay Creatively Motivated| Carenza Bramwell

As the world continues to stay bleak and depressing, it can be hard to stay motivated. Something I've spotted in the past year is that it can be hard to stay creatively motivated when the world feels so gloomy. I study creative writing, I create content online and work on a student magazine, my whole life revolves around being creative. Yet, with the latest lockdown the UK finds itself in has drained me of all my creativity. In today's blog post, I thought I would share some thoughts and tips on how I stay motivated to create when I really don't feel inspired.

I just want to preface this post with that there are times when I don't follow my own advice. There are times when I don't feel I can. It's important to acknowledge that there are times when things aren't as easy as we'd like. Only try and follow these tips if you feel able to.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Something I've been trying to do when I start to feel creatively demotivated, especially of late, is to acknowledge my feelings. We are living through a pandemic, these aren't normal times, it's alright to not feel normal. I am not a mental health professional, but I would say it's okay to feel frustrated, worried, scared, whatever you are feeling. I had a huge motivation boost after Christmas, but as soon as lockdown hit again, I could barely do the work I wanted to do. Instead of trying to make myself do the work when I was in no shape to do so, I took some time to acknowledge my feelings. By taking this step, even though I wouldn't say I'm back at full motivation levels, I've been able to chip away at my workload.  

Revisit Inspirations and Favourites 

When lacking motivation, a tip I would recommend is to revisit inspirations and favourites. I get inspired and motivated from the creative pieces I love. This could be a book, TV show, film, whatever, but I like to surround myself with it. To me, it's a happy reminder that people can go onto create great things. Often after revisiting something I love it makes me want to go on and create something. I would also recommend looking at some creative/motivational quotes. Again, it's a positive reminder that you can and will go onto work on something you're proud of.   

Break It Into Manageable Chunks

Let's face it, but we aren't going to write our masterpieces in a day or a week. It takes a lot of time. It can be overwhelming when you are lacking motivation to start a task that seems insurmountable. So breaking it into smaller chunks can help with motivation. It can be to write a hundred words or a certain amount of pages. I find that breaking bigger tasks into smaller chunks makes me more likely to work on it. If something feels too big, then I won't want to work on it. Take the time to work out how you are going to approach the task. Then let the words/creativity come to you.  

You Don't Have to Be Creative Everyday  

Something I am trying to learn is that you don't have to be creative everyday. It's okay to give yourself time to feel mentally refreshed before retuning to a project. This is similar to what I was saying in the first point. Creativity takes a lot of mental thinking, so let yourself feel mentally ready to be creative. Just like more "traditional" career paths and interests, it is key to take time away. I try to take one day a week away from doing anything creative. It gives me that time to process and refresh before diving back into whatever I'm working on. 

Those are some tips and thoughts on how to stay creatively motivated when times are difficult. Do you have any tips and thoughts on what's been discussed in this blog post?

Carenza :) x  

Why I've Abandoned My New Years Resolutions for 2020| Carenza Bramwell

2020 was going to be the year I stuck to my New Years Resolutions. It was going to be the year that I told myself I'd change and commit to something. 2020 ended up being the year from hell quite frankly and we've still got four months left. In today's blog post, I will be sharing with you why I have decided to abandon my New Years Resolutions. 

Putting it frankly, 2020 has gone to shit. We all thought this was going to be a great year and then COVID happened. I don't know about you, but living through a global pandemic was not on my to do list for this year. I had told myself at the end of 2019 that I would make some positive changes in my life. 2019 had ended up being a pretty good year for me, but the last few months were quite difficult. I was looking forward to a chance at taking control of my life again. I've spoken about how I've been struggling with a few health issues over the past year and how it has taken a toll on my everyday life. I went into 2020 relatively healthy, but ended up becoming sick again. This obviously disrupted my plans to turn over a new leaf. 

My goals for 2020 involved trying something new (drawing), reading lots of books, working on one non-uni writing project, spending less time on my phone and setting time aside to relax. Let's break down how I've been doing with each of those goals. I was doing really well at drawing. I was doing a little doodle every day up until early February when I fell ill again. I was quite enjoying it and I could see a little bit of improvement in my skills. I tried picking it up again but I quickly forgot again. I've realised that it is something I'd like to try again but once I have a bit of free time on my hands, something I very rarely have. 

Reading lots of books has been something that I have been easily able to achieve. I've read almost 50 at this point which I am very happy about. I did have some slow reading months and I have been reading more three star books than normal. I haven't read a book that I would say that I've adored which is quite sad for 2020. Reading is something I'll always make time for so this goal is still one I'm going to consider. Writing on the other hand, well that's taken a back seat. Here's why. I do a Creative Writing degree. I run a blog. I'm also the editor in chief of my unis student magazine. I always have some sort of writing to be doing that I have to prioritise. I never have time to actually sit down and work on my own projects. I spend 90% of my time writing. This means when I have a chance to do something else, I'll take it. I've been reading lots and watching new things. I miss that I don't have the time to pursue my own projects but once I've graduated next summer, I will have the time to focus fully on my own projects. It was over ambitious of me to assume I'd have the time and energy to work on my own stuff this year. 

Another goal I will be backing out of is less screen time. Spending lots of time on my phone does depress me a bit, but I have a reason for scrapping this goal. I've decided that I want to start putting more effort into my social media accounts. Due to COVID, I was unable to get an internship or work experience. I will be most likely unable to do so for some time. This means I am going to be graduating with nothing, which is very stressful. So I am using the wonderful gift that is the internet to showcase my "talents". By constantly creating content, it shows that I can do something. I also want to do it because it's fun. With the new addition of Instagram reels, I am going to be trying my hand at video making again. I do miss making video content and I've been toying with the idea of restarting my YouTube channel. These are all creative outlets I can use to my advantage and still have fun. However, by constantly working and essentially having an unpaid job, I do need time to relax. I have been trying to set time aside for reading and relaxing everyday. If I didn't I think I would have cracked under the pressure. It's something that I've gotten better at in the past few months and something I wouldn't have tried if COVID hadn't happened. 

So going forward to the rest of 2020, what are my goals? Well I still want to read lots, that's just a given. I've been really enjoying tackling my TBR. I've also been loving creating content online, so that's something I'm going to be working towards. But the big change is that I'm going to be more flexible to my approach to life. COVID has shown me that my plans can suddenly be changed overnight. I need to adapt to the situations life throws at me. I don't have a plan for this time next year, so I'm going to focus on the now. Work hard for my degree. Manage the uni magazine and create content for that. Learn and grow my online platforms. My interests in general have changed this year. I've fallen head over heels for film and TV, it's eventually where I'd like to work. My motto is going to be work hard, play hard. It isn't original but it is something that I've truly come to believe in. 

Carenza :)x   

What I Love In Books| Carenza Bramwell

A couple of weeks ago, emmmabooks, a BookTuber I admire, posted a video about what she loves in books. In that video, linked here, she talks about the different components that make her love books. I wanted to write my own response to that video and share with you what makes me fall for a book. 

As this is mostly a book based blog, it won't come as a surprise that I adore books. But like anything in life, there are certain elements that make me fall for a book. The first is setting and world building. These are two crucial elements in a story to me. If I can get a taste for what the world is like, then I am going to be hooked into your story. It never fails to impress me when you can tell an author has spent a lot of time thinking about every little detail of their world. It has to be richly detailed and feel real. If I can't get a grasp of what the world is like, then I am not going to enjoy the book as much. An example of world building I adore is the Strange the Dreamer duology by Laini Taylor. I read this about a year ago and I can still remember how immersive the world felt. I think listening to the audiobook helped as I was fully absorbed. It is a high fantasy with a complex world. I learned everything that I wanted to through these books. I mentioned in my reviews that I would kill for a behind the scenes fact book with even more details about this world. 

Another vital element to make me love a book are the characters. I love a good cast of characters. I am very picky with the type of character I like. I'm not sure I could put it into words. I have to want to care for them as people. Again, like the world they inhabit, I want them to feel real. They have to have likeable qualities, which doesn't mean they can't be a villain. Villain's can be great characters too. A great set of characters is the cast of The Diviners books by Libba Bray. I've just started reading the third one and I care so much about them. You get to learn a lot of backstory about them and it's an amazing feeling when all these loose threads come together at last. 

Probably the element I am the most picky about is the writing style. As a writer myself, I've found that I am now very VERY picky with the type of writing I like. I want the writing to feel developed and well thought out. I am both a fan of the more simplistic story telling and the poetic style of writers. Two of my favourite writers, Laini Taylor and Cassandra Clare have very different writing styles. I am not a fan of purple prose, but some descriptive writing can be truly beautiful. I don't want to get lost in the words. I want to be able to follow the story while appreciating that this is good writing. The quality of writing has become more and more important to me in the past few years. It can be a huge turn off to read what I consider to be underdeveloped writing. 

Finally, the thing that ties all of these together, is the plot. Without this, you have no story. The plot is a journey and we go along on it with the characters. I've spotted that as I grow up, if I cannot become invested in the plot, then I often do not like the story. I want it to move along at a good pace. I cannot stand it when a story is drawn out for no reason. Yet I also enjoy the low action moments of character development. A book I could not put down because of the plot was Sadie by Courtney Summers. I listened to this as an audiobook and it was the fastest I have ever listened to an audiobook. It moves the story along at a good pace, while allowing for high and low moments. 

Combine all of these together, or at least a good combination of the above, and you have a story I adore. 

Carenza :) x    

Has Lockdown Helped My Reading?|Carenza Bramwell

As we are still stuck in this bizarre situation, I thought today would be a good day to reflect on whether any good has come out of being stuck inside. Lockdown is still in affect in most countries, even if the rules are a bit confusing, and it has impacted us all. I've spoken about how it totally destroyed my summer plans and I've spent a lot of time finding ways to fill the time. 

Something that has always been a part of my life, even without lockdown, is reading. In today's post, I will be discussing if lockdown has had a good impact on my reading habits or if it's the opposite. 

A small stack of books I've read in lockdown

Before lockdown started, I had managed to read 16 books in total. This was not as high as I had hoped, but I had struggled with some quite severe health problems since the beginning of February, which took a toll on my everyday life. My average amount of books read per month had been around 5 books. January had been a really good reading month, having read 7. It then dropped to 5 a month for the following three months. In the past few months, it has gone back up to being either 7 or 8 books a month. 

Like most readers, my reading habits fluctuate. It depends what's happening in my life and what I'm reading. I've had more reading slumps on average during lockdown that I normally have throughout the year. Yet I've somehow managed to read a lot more books recently. That being said, in 2020, I am reading a lot more books that I rate three stars. I've been giving out four stars less than normal and have had a few two star reads. 

This begs the question, while I'm reading a lot, am I reading any good books? With being stuck inside all the time, reading has become my escape method. I may not be able to physically go interrailing this summer, but I can travel through the magic of books. There are books I expected to love which I have ended up not enjoying and books that I thought I wouldn't care for that I've really enjoyed. Lockdown has changed my approach to reading. 

I know that most readers are either thriving off lockdown and demolishing their TBR piles or they're really struggling. I fall somewhere in the middle. I'm glad to have the opportunity to be able to tackle my TBR and sort out my book collection, yet I am also finding it difficult to get the motivation to read at times. As a reader, surely I should love reading? So why am I finding it almost chore like to have to sit down and read my books? 

I'm very grateful to have been able to find the time to read and to take my mind off everything at the moment. It has definitely helped my mental health and kept me stable throughout this whole time. It's helped me work out what type of books I really like, rather than still buying overhyped books and not liking most of them. I'm thankful to this time as it is helping me as a reader. I may not be reading loads of books I love, but I am tackling my TBR for once. So in a bizarre way, lockdown has helped my reading. Just not in the way you think it would have.

Carenza :) x 

Stories That Influenced Me| Carenza Bramwell

I am about to go into my third year of studying Creative Writing. Being a writer and creator has always been a career that interested me. But I didn't just wake up one day and think "I'm going to be a writer". No I made this choice due to the stories I consumed in my life. In today's blog post, I will be sharing 4 stories that have shaped me. These are going to be books, tv shows, films and plays.

Angels in America

Any long time follower of my blog will know how much Angels in America by Tony Kushner means to me. I saw this play almost three years ago at a key point in my life. I hadn't decided if or what I was doing with regards to going to university. I wasn't even that bothered about seeing Angels in America, but after seeing it, well it changed my life. Angels in America is a play set in 1980s New York and it follows a group of people who ended up becoming connected. It tackles politics at the time and the AIDs crisis. It also has themes of magical realism and humanity in it. I remember being sat in the cinema, seeing it as a live broadcast, and being blown away by it. I had never seen anything like it before and I wanted to create something just as epic. I've already mentioned how it changed my life, but it sent me down the direction I find myself on now. I wouldn't be studying creative writing if it wasn't for this play.

 

Lady Bird

Lady Bird also had a similar influence on me. I saw it in February 2018, six months before I was due to go to university. Lady Bird is in a similar situation, she too is about to leave home and move away to university. It captured the complicated yet loving relationships parents and their children can have. Greta Gerwig instantly became a favourite writer-director of mine. She brings such humanity to her work and it was nice to see something created by a woman for once. She will be someone I admire for many years to come. Lady Bird herself is a deeply flawed character, yet it makes her relatable. Greta's characters all felt real. It was a beautiful film and one I think about a lot. 

   

The Shadowhunter Chronicles 

I was going to put Harry Potter for a book that influenced me, but with everything JK Rowling has done, I'm not sure I can do that in good conscience. It is cliched of me to pick the Shadowhunter Chronicles by Cassandra Clare. They are not the most high brow examples of literature, but they certainly shaped my life. I have always been a reader, but the movie and books from this world opened my eyes to things I didn't even know existed. These were the books that made me fall in love with reading in a way I didn't know was possible. They're fun and fluffy. They were there for me during the darkest part of my life and I will forever be grateful for stumbling across them.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency 

I had never been a big TV watcher until I stumbled across Dirk Gently. I actually have a post all about how much Dirk Gently means to me. Similar to The Shadowhunter Chronicles, it was something that introduced me to a wide world of TV that I hadn't ever thought about. I'm now considering pursuing a career in writing and working in TV. I'm not sure I'd do this if I hadn't found this show by accident. I'm still very sad that it never got a proper ending and it looks unlikely that it would ever be picked up for a final season. 

There are obviously tonnes more stories that have inspired me to become the person I am today, but these four are the central ones to who I am.

Carenza :) x

Why I've Started a "Creative Journal" and How You Can Too| Carenza Bramwell

As someone who identifies as a creative, it is very important to me to be working on at least one creative project. Something I was struggling with up until the beginning of this year was finding a way of keeping a track of all my creative thoughts. And then I had a fairly simple solution to my problem- I would start a creative journal. You might be wondering, what the heck is a creative journal? In this post, I will explain what I mean by a creative journal, why I use one and how you can use one while making it unique to you. 

A title page in my creative journal

What the Heck is a Creative Journal?

Good question. A creative journal, put simply, is a journal where I store all of my creative thoughts and plans. It's just a plain notebook with all of my creativeness in it. It isn't anything fancy like an art journal or a bullet journal. 

An example of one of my blog post planner pages

My creative journal is a black hardback Moleskin notebook. I've just started adding some drawings to the blank pages and there is a lot of colour coding depending on what I need to write about. I use it to plan my blog posts, keep a track of what books I want to read and what books I've read. I also use it as a place to store all of my big writing projects. I have since started to add other lists such as a list of all the digital content I watch (films and tvs) and to track all the books I purchase. Like I said, put simply, it is for tracking all my creative plans and projects. 

Why I Use One?

I decided that 2020 would the year I get my creative plans sorted and keep on top of all my creative thoughts. I am someone who often has creative plans just pop into my head and I always forget to write them down, or I spread them around multiple notebooks. By having a set journal, I now have one place for all my creative thoughts. I've been using it since early January, and I've found I'm no longer in such a creative slump. I've had lots of ideas and I can't wait to find the time to write them. I do already have a notebook called "writing projects", which I think I will use for rough plans and the research parts. I can also transfer my current projects into my new journal. 

One of my creative project planner pages

The increased productivity I've found since starting one has been a real inspiration, especially during the current climate. Like with any other journal form, having one place to store all of your thoughts is handy. 

I've also found it very relaxing to actually spend some time away from technology and use an old fashioned pen and paper to plan everything. You could also do this digitally if you wanted to, but having a bit of time away from screens has actually been very relaxing and good for my mental health.

How You Can You Make Your Own?

My book tracker for January 2020

It's quite easy, all you need is a notebook and your thoughts. It depends how you want to split up your projects. For me, the three main areas of my creativity are my blog, books and writing. I have a couple of minor lists, which I might end up incorporating into bigger lists depending on how things go. I would recommend colour coding the key sections of your journal to make it easier to find what you are looking for. Something I've also started to do is to add title pages to each month. I was inspired to do this after seeing a tonne of bullet journal videos do this. They don't have to the prettiest or the best drawings, if you're having fun that's all that matters. This is also a chance to develop a new skill. I wanted to develop my drawing skills in 2020, so by adding little drawings where I can I am improving this new skill. 

If you are looking for something fun, easy and new to do during the current situation, then look no further than starting a creative journal. 

Carenza :) x 

 

Finding Inspiration and Positivity When It Feels Like There is None| Carenza Bramwell

Remember when we all thought 2020 was going to be a great year? Our year? Sadly, COVID-19 ripped that away from us and things are looking a bit bleak right now. My plan for this post originally had been to talk about finding inspiration when you are feeling uninspired. However, I realised that was very similar to a post I've already written. So, with the world and life being a bit blue at the moment, I thought I'd spread some positivity and tips on how to find inspiration right now. 

Inspiration and Positivity During the Current Situation

As I've already said, it feels hard right now to find anything good in life. We're currently living through a pandemic, we could or might have already lost loved ones, the shops are a barren wasteland and many elements of our day to day lives (school, work, etc) are closing. I think a key step towards feeling normal and more positive about this situation is to acknowledge that you are sad and give yourself time to feel "normal" again. For me, I was going to go travelling this summer with a friend, I was hoping to get some work experience before I graduate next summer and finish my second year of university. Suddenly, these every day plans have been taken away from me. I am nowhere near back to feeling normal, but I have come to accept the reality of my situation in a healthy way. When all of this was announced and I suddenly found myself packing up my life, I took the time to feel sad and accept that this was not where I wanted to be. I think taking those steps have helped me overcome the first hurdle. I will still have bad days throughout the coming months, but by taking the time ti acknowledge that I am actually really upset about how this is effecting me is a normal thing to do.

Something else I have decided to do to make it more bearable is to try and find a routine in all of this chaos. I suddenly have a lot of free time on my hands, and while I still have commitments (all my university deadlines sadly), I don't know what to do with myself. One of the first things I did when I moved back to my parents house, was to sit down and make a "get it done lockdown list". I split this into three categories- university, creative and personal. I then made my own calendar and wrote down tasks I wanted to complete on each of those days. I have planned the rest of this month and I have made plans for most of April. Up until mid-May, my life is taken up with making sure I meet my deadlines. I am planning on working on university commitments during the weekdays and then at weekends, I can have time off or I can help my parents with various tasks. It's not quite the same as having to go to lectures and making time to hang out with my housemates, but it means that the time won't feel quite as stretched as it could do. 

Once all my deadlines are over, I have the foreseeable future available to fill. It's quite daunting to have months available to do whatever and personally, I don't cope well during the large breaks between uni. So I have decided to use this time to do things I wouldn't normally have the time to do. As I've mentioned in the previous paragraph, I made a list of things I want to get done during this lockdown. On my creative list, I want to spend the time learning new things. I was planning on trying to relearn the very little I knew about playing the piano, and now I have more free time, I want to do that. I also want to develop other skills such as learning to knit properly and picking up French again. Obviously, I still want to read and watch as much as I possibly can, and will be making a very long list of books, films and tv series I need to catch up on. Instead of filling up my summer with an internship, I can fill it up with working on a long term creative project. I feel that picking up a few different things to do will be more creatively inspiring than just sticking at one thing. On my personal list, I now have the time to finish decorating and designing my new rooms at my parents new house. We moved house back in November, but due to the fact I spend most of my time away from home, I have a bedroom and office that don't feel finished, so I have time to make them feel like home. I do just want to end this paragraph by saying that you don't have to fill this free time super productively. You can just use it to relax. I've seen a lot of people playing the new Animal Crossing game and am very tempted to join them.

General Inspiration and Positivity

I figured that I could also include what I was going to write in my original blog post in the second half of this post. I've written a few posts on creative burnouts and feeling drained as a creative, so I thought I'd share some of the new things I've started to do when it comes to finding inspiration. 

One of the key ways I find inspiration is through current content available. That can be from books, film, tv and many other forms of content. I am someone who if I find something I love, I will latch onto it. Often, my ideas are inspired by the content I am consuming. It's usually because I enjoy something so much that I want to create something that others can enjoy. 

This links to my next point which is to make what you want to see. Although I make stuff because I want others to enjoy it, I also make stuff because they are things that I want to consume. I think that as a creative if you don't want to see your idea come to fruition, then you are working on the wrong idea. It is about finding the balance between wanting to create something for others but also wanting to create something for yourself. 

My last point has become a bit redundant in the current climate, but something I like to do is to take inspiration from every day life. I take inspiration from the usually embarrassing or funny things that happen to me. I like to try and include them in the projects that I am working on. 

I hope that this post brought some inspiration and positivity into your life, especially during this dark time.

Carenza :) x

Killer Creativity- The Ups and Downs of Being a Creative| Carenza Bramwell

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately is the ups and downs of being a creative, and more specifically the killer nature of creativity. It probably isn't a surprise to anyone reading this, but I consider myself a creative person. I do a Creative Writing degree and my passions in life have always fallen on the creative side. Yet in the past year or so, I've been noticing how sometimes wanting to be creative is emotionally draining. 

I've been experiencing frequent burnt out periods, times where I feel so uninspired to do the things I love. I've noticed this more since I started my degree in particular. As much as I love my degree and I couldn't imagine studying anything else, I also feel that I have turned my passion into something I dread. Maybe it's because I'm at a stage in my life where I am not doing exactly what I want to do and my work is focused on areas and projects I don't care for. Since starting my degree, I don't want to work on my own projects. That's why I made one of my goals this year to work on one non-uni writing project. 

A side effect of feeling burnt out all the time is that when I do have inspiration or time to pursue my own projects, I don't want to. I want time off from what I do and yet I never give myself that time off. Writing this makes it sound like I don't like writing and that I don't want to spend my life doing that, but that's not true. I love writing and I can't wait to make a career out of it. I think I'm in that awkward stage where I'm still trying to work out what it is within writing that I like and finding what makes me passionate. If you had asked me at the start of my degree, I would have said either YA novels or a stage play. Over a year and half later, I know want to work in the TV and film sector. 

A contributing factor to why I sometimes I find creativity a killer is because like everyone else I crave validation and success. I want people to go "wow, you're really good" and sometimes people do that, but a lot of the time it's about learning and improving. This feeling comes more from putting my writing online. I see all these people succeeding and I wonder why I'm not. We all have a need to be the best at what we do and we seek validation through praise, but it takes time to get to that stage. I've been running this blog for almost five years and one of the things that demotivates me is the fact that not many people follow my little, somewhat niche corner of the internet. I am not well known for my blogging and that makes me sad. What makes me even sadder is that I know I don't need validation and success to be happy at what I do. Yes, I put so much time into working on my blog and my degree, and the results are average. Average is fine and I'm slowly learning that I don't need everyone patting me on my back for me to know that I am actually good at what I do. 

All of this boils down to why do I like being creative? What is the reason that I do this? It's not for success, validation or to spend hours upon hours doubting my skills. I like being creative because it makes me happy. Simple as that. With the things I create, I want to make other people happy. Something that inspires me to be a writer is the fact that there are writers out there who have inspired me and I would like to be that person for someone else. Even if I only inspire one person, I consider that I job well done. This contradicts what I just said, but I don't care about praise and success and awards (though some would be nice), what makes me a happy and hopefully one day somewhat successful writer, is that fact that someone out there might pick up a pen because of me. 

As creatives, we strive to be constantly creating and working, yet we never give ourselves breaks. We bounce from project to project, craving validation, but we end up burning ourselves out. It is trying to break this cycle that makes us good creatives. Don't force creativity for the sake of creativity, let it flow naturally. Work on things that make you happy (unless you have to work on those for your degree, then you have to work on those as well). Despite the fact that these thoughts are constantly swirling around my head all the time, I am proud to be a creative and I will be one until the day I die.

All the best,

Carenza x