It's kind of ironic of me to be posting this today as the day this goes live I'm actually moving into my second-year accommodation and am about to start my second year of university. So let's cut the chase and get to the point. Homesickness at university is real. Obviously, it is unique for everyone, but at some point, you will deal with it. I will be talking about my experiences with homesickness in first year and I might make an updated post for this time next year.
How Homesick Did I Get?
Let's start by making this vaguely relatable and by talking about myself. I come from a very small family (I count my family as me, my parents and my grandma, also my cat too). For the past two years at that point, I had been living with just my dad as we tried to move house. I am very fortunate in that I am very close with my family. We would talk to my mum every night and we would spend every weekend together. I also spoke to my grandma once a week, so I was always in constant contact with my family.
I should start this by saying that I was very excited to go to university and to move out of home. This wasn't because I didn't want to live with my family anymore, but because I had always wanted to go to university and I was now finally going. I was at a stage where I was ready to move out and become very independent.
Right up until the night before I went to university, this excitement was with me the whole time. Then it was the night before I had to leave and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't sleep that night. I was so excited to go, but I was also scared to leave my family behind. I spent the entire car journey there being nervous and feeling sick. We unpacked all my stuff, my parents drove me to the shops to buy some food and then it was time for them to go. As I hadn't lived with my mum for two years, we felt as though we had already said our goodbyes. With my dad, it was a lot more painful as it meant we would both be living by ourselves. I didn't cry, but it was very emotional.
The first week was a mix of emotions. I was in this new city with new people and I didn't have any of my home comforts. I wasn't so homesick that I wanted to leave and go home, but I felt very lonely that first week. As I had left a few things at home, my dad came to see me and brought me the last few things I needed. I had been at university for two weeks and it was so nice seeing him. But when it came to him having to leave, I actually wanted to cry a bit because it was real to me that we didn't live together.
On the whole, I was fine with the whole homesickness thing. I spoke to my family regularly and we worked out what weekends we could see each other. I went home a total of three times in the whole academic year and they came to me four times. It actually worked out really well. I think being in regular contact with them meant it felt like I could still talk to them, which is a stupid way to think, but I needed that reassurance and to be able to hear about things from home.
How to Deal with Homesickness?
I've kind of covered it a bit in the earlier section of this post, but there are a few things you can do to make it a bit more bearable:
- Have regular phone calls/ times you talk with your family
- Arrange times to see them
- Bring photos and things from home
I found that having regular calls with my family meant it was a bit easier to deal with. I would phone my parents on Saturday's and then I'd phone my grandma on Sunday's. I actually wrote letters back and forth with my grandma as we're old fashioned. Most weeks I'd speak to at least one of my parents during the week about something random. I would text them every now and then, but they also respected that I needed some time by myself which was great. At Christmas time, we skyped each other every day so we could open our advent calendars together which was a really nice way to see them. Most times our skype conversations would last anywhere from 15 minutes to well over an hour.
We also arranged when we were going to see each other in person. When I wanted to come home, we would plan something so I had a reason to come home. So I went to see them for birthday's and special occasions. They would also come to see me so we could have a day in the city or do something in my neck of the woods.
This is a commonly recommended tip, but bringing stuff from home can make it feel like you are at home. I brought some framed photos from home and I also got a bunch printed from the summer. Having these meant I could wake up and see the faces of my loved ones, which I know is cheesy but it was nice to see their faces.
I hope this post helps someone and just remember that feeling homesick is a perfectly natural thing. You can manage your university experience while all of this is happening and this feeling won't last forever. As you spend more time at university, you will get better at dealing with it.
Carenza x :)
