What I've Been Watching Recently- Lockdown Edition| Carenza Bramwell

With no end date in sight for lockdown being lifted, I have been watching a lot of TV to pass the time. I wasn't really a TV person up until the start of this year. With everything happening in 2020, I have been watching a lot more TV than before. So much so that I have nearly watched double the amount of TV than books I've read. Like my last "What I've Been Watching Recently", I will be splitting it into TV and Film, with a small summary of my thoughts on everything.

From Google Images

TV

Friday Night Dinner

I had watched most of Friday Night Dinner last year after a friend introduced me to it so I decided to introduce my parents to it. It has become a family favourite. Season six wasn't the best and the ending makes me feel like they're going to pull an Outnumbered and come back in ten years time with everyone all grown up. I'd highly recommend it as it's a great bit of British comedy.

The Vicar of Dibley

Speaking of classic British comedy, I randomly decided to rewatch The Vicar of Dibley. It has been many years since I watched it but I'm so glad I decided to rewatch it. It's some classic British comedy and will always be a top notch show in my opinion.

Legend of Korra

Another rewatch for me was Legend of Korra. I have always been a huge fan of Avatar and Korra. They're classics. I still need to get my hands on the comics and read them. Korra is a great character and the LGBT rep is great in this one. Plus Pabu is adorable. 

Quiz

Everyone was raving about Quiz so I had to watch it. James Graham is a fantastic writer and Quiz did not disappoint. The cast was amazing and the set design was through the roof. I still don't know if I believe if they did cheat or if they didn't cheat. I would recommend it as there's only three episodes and they're about 45 mins to an hour long. 

Peaky Blinders

I finally watched Peaky Blinders. I had watched at least the first two episodes twice before fully committing to this show. I loved the first season, but the other series are getting a bit predictable and implausible. I am interested to see what happens in season six. I'm ashamed it took me this long to watch it but I have finally caught up on this iconic show.

Devs

This was a show I had heard a lot about and one my parents were interested in. Sadly, I did not end up enjoying it as much as my family did. I felt that it was a case of style over substance. It could have been shorter and the writing in places was very dodgy. It was an interesting sci-fi/thriller and I would recommend it, it just didn't end up being for me in the end.

Killing Eve

Killing Eve is one of my favourite shows and with the world going to shit, they pushed forward the release of season three. My dad and I binged the entire first season in prep for it's release. Sadly, season three was a bit disappointing. It didn't have the same overarching plot as the first two seasons, but it still had that amazing comedic moments. I am a bit unsure how I feel about a season four, but I will continue to watch it.

Films

Scott Pilgram Vs the World

A rewatch for me. Scott Pilgram is a film I really enjoy, partly due to the cast and partly due to the writer-director behind it (Edgar Wright). It's a fun, cosy film that I like to rewatch every now and then. 

Blinded By the Light

This was a film that my parents wanted to watch. I don't think I was quite the target demographic for this film as while I enjoyed it, it just didn't land well with me. My one big critique is that the characters randomly burst into song every now and then. It didn't work for me. It was a good, rom-com, feel-good film, but I was not the target audience for this film. If you grew up in the 80s and loved Bruce Springsteen, then I would recommend it.

Grand Budapest Hotel

With the world being terrible, many companies across the world started these joint cinema experiences. One that we joined in with was the Secret Cinema one, which has recently ended. The first film was Grand Budapest Hotel. My dad and I had already watched it, but I think my mum hadn't. The experience was good but they recommended lots of activities to go alongside the screening, which wasn't really our cup of tea. Grand Budapest Hotel is a bizarre, but great film. 

La La Land

Another joint cinema experience we joined in with was Lionsgate Live. For four weeks, they streamed four of their films for free on YouTube for a group experience. La La Land is one of my favourite films and my mum had never seen it before. It's a fun, cosy film and I'm glad we decided to join in.

Star Wars- A New Hope

May 4th, or May the Force Be With You Day. We had to watch a Star Wars film. We chose the one that started it all. Star Wars will always be special in this household so we had to celebrate Star Wars day.

Knives Out
Knives Out was a film I was desperate to see at the end of 2019, but sadly missed the chance to see in the cinema. We rented it online and I am very happy that I finally watched it. I had no idea what to expect going in, but it ended it up being quite funny. It could have been shorter in places, however, I am very excited for the sequel. 

Wild Tales

My family have recently taken out a subscription to Curzon Home Cinema, home to mostly indie and international films. We watched Wild Tales, a Spanish film, made up of six stories. The only thing that links these stories is violence. Some where better than others and it was a bizarre film. I am enjoying watching more unusual films. 

City of Bones

I saw that City of Bones was on Netflix and I really felt like rewatching it. If it wasn't an adaptation of CoB, it would be a great film. As an adaptation, it's not the best. It is classic YA adaptation from 2013. I just felt like being back in that world. 

Eddie the Eagle

Another Lionsgate Live film was Eddie the Eagle. A biopic about Eddie the Eagle, an olympian in the winter Olympics. It was a fun, British comedy. I am glad I watched it. I had never heard of Eddie before watching this film. 

Still Life

This was another Curzon film. It was about a man who went around organising funerals for people who had no families or were estranged from their families. It followed him on his last case, tracing friends and family of this man who had recently died. It turned out that the man who had died lived in the same building as the man investigating him. It was a very sad film, but it had a heart warming ending. 

Howl's Moving Castle

Netflix have recently added a tonne of Studio Ghibli films to their repertoire. I decided to rewatch Howl's Moving Castle as it's one of my favourites. I need to watch some more Studio Ghibli films as there's a few I haven't seen.

My Old Lady

This was also a film from Curzon. It's based on an old French play about a man who inherits an apartment in Paris from his father, but finds out that someone is living there. The woman who is living there rents is paid to live there by the mans father. You could tell it was based on a play as it didn't quite work for screen, but it was still a sweet little film.

Bend It Like Beckham

Yet another Lionsgate Live film. A British classic. I had been meaning to watch this one for a while and I'm so glad that I got to finally watch it. It's a solid British rom-com, with some great female characters. It is also by the same writer-director behind Blinded By the Light. 

The Hunger Games

The final Lionsgate Live film. It has been so many years since I watched the Hunger Games films and I never even finished them for some bizarre reason. It is widely regarded as one of the best book to movie adaptations ever. I am now really desperate to watch the rest of the films.

Solaris (1972 Russian Version)
My mum had really wanted to watch some of the Russian films on Curzon, so we chose Solaris. Solaris has been adapted a few times for cinema, but this was the 1972 version. It was three hours long and it was weird. At one point there was a fifteen minute long scene of this man just driving around. I am interested in watching the 2002 version, but the Russian one was just weird.

Misbehaviour
I had really wanted to watch Misbehaviour after seeing trailers for it in the cinema (God I miss going to the cinema), so we rented it through Curzon. A historical piece based on real life. It was a good, fun, feminist film. I would highly recommend it. Plus it has Kiera Knightley in it. It tackles issues of feminism and racism in the late 1970s.

Colette
Another Kiera Knightley film. I had seen this in the cinema at the time of its release last year. Colette is a really interesting woman and it's made me want to read some of her books. Plus, Kiera Knightley is the queen of historical films.

The Lost Boys
This is a weird 1980s film we decided to watch. It's a vampire film, but very cheesy and very much of its era. It was okay and that's about as much as I can say about it.

Parasite
I sadly missed seeing Parasite in the cinema, so when it became available to rent on Curzon, we had to watch it. I'm glad to say that it's as amazing as everyone said it was. It rightly won all those Oscars and I would love to watch more films from its creator.

A Simple Favour 
My last entry on this very long list is A Simple Favour. I had this on my radar for a while and I finally decided to watch it. It was a solid mystery thriller, with interesting characters and twists and turns. I loved that it had two female characters at its core. I would love to watch more films like it in the future.

So those were all the TV shows and films I've watched recently. I'm trying to watch more new content rather than keep on rewatching old stuff I've seen a million times over and over again.
Carenza :) x

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir Book Review (Contains Spoilers)| Carenza Bramwell

Title- An Ember in the Ashes
Author- Sabaa Tahir
Series- An Ember in the Ashes
Published- 2015
Page Count- 446
Publishing House- Razorbill
Rating- 3/5 stars

About the Author

Spent my childhood in the Mojave Desert, where I didn’t have cable and thus chose to entertain myself with books and radio. My parents assured me that I wanted to become a doctor, but a brief stint working in a hospital changed my mind.

I left the desert for university at 17, graduated from UCLA a few years later, and went to work for The Washington Post directly after. Five years later, I left the Post and started working on a book.

If I could be anything, I’d be a space explorer, but a cool one, like Jean-Luc Picard.

I’m represented by Alexandra Machinist at ICM.

Taken from Sabaa's website. 

Plot

Laia is a slave. Elias is a soldier. Neither is free.

Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear.

It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do.

But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy.

There, Laia meets Elias, the school’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he’s being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.

Taken from Goodreads.

Opinions

When I first got into reading in 2015/16, I discovered the world of BookTube and the book community. I saw all these books that everyone was talking about and had to get them. It took me many years to actually read them. In the years that have passed, I have become a very different reader. My taste in books has changed a lot. 

I think I am one of the few people that almost always does not enjoy the super hyped books of the classic days of the book community. I always read them too late and they never feel like they're exactly for me. An Ember in the Ashes sadly falls into this category of hyped books that I just don't like.

I will say that I adored the first part of this book. It really hooked me in and I wanted to know more. The setting was interesting and I wanted to know more about the characters. This book is split into three parts, so I was expecting more of the amazing quality of part one in the following two parts, but it just didn't feel the same. I really lost interest in this book as I read on. I stopped enjoying the world and the two central characters, Laia and Elias, ended up being quite annoying. 

I think that the reason I ended up not enjoying this as much as I thought I would was the writing style. I've spoken about how I really don't enjoy the first person perspective, especially if it's from multiple perspectives. However, this book was written in the first person present tense perspective and I just couldn't get through it. I really didn't like the writing style as I read more and more. I will say that this is a personal preference and not the fault of the author. 

If the book had been in the same style as the first part, I would already be purchasing the next two books. However, as I've mentioned, I just lost interest. I didn't care for the Resistance plot or the Trials plot. I also felt that there was a lot of unnecessary romance in this book. I think it ended up being a love square. None of the characters relationships, especially the romantic ones, felt convincing to me. It just felt like that the author had to include romance because it's a common feature in fiction. 

This book did feature a lot of violence towards the characters. There was also a huge divide between the higher class characters and the slaves. The author also used rape or rape attempts a lot. I would be careful going into this book as there are a lot of uncomfortable scenes. 

I can see why this is a beloved book and the hype behind it, sadly it just ended up not being for me.

Carenza :) x

Dear JK Rowling...I'm Breaking Up With You and Here's Why- An Open Letter| Carenza Bramwell

Dear JK Rowling,

To put it bluntly, I'm breaking up with you and here's why.

You are transphobic. There is no other word for what you are. You should have learnt from your blunder in December, but you didn't. Instead, you chose to stick your nose in it at the worst possible time, Pride Month. The month where we celebrate the LGBT community. I think you missed the memo and instead, chose to degrade them publicly.  Even worse, you defended your actions and refused to apologise. 

I am embarrassed to be a fan of your work. I am ashamed to have supported you for most of my life by reading your books. Watching films from your worlds. Buying your merchandise. Giving you probably thousands of my families and friends money. I am sad and disappointed that you have tainted something that was very special to me. 

Harry Potter was a safe haven for me. A world I could happily return to over and over, never getting bored and feeling at home there. Now, I'm not sure I can do so in the same way without feeling a deep sense of guilt and sadness. For someone who wrote about those rising up against extremists, parroting ideology that only the "purest" are the best, it seems you need to educate yourself. As a grown women, this is something you should be able to do quite easily, but sadly I doubt you will. 

The lack of diversity in your books is shocking. I believe only a small handful of characters are specified as being people of colour. You add details of diversity after many years, only to make yourself relevant and on board with what is popular. If Dumbledore is gay, why not say so? Why add it in as a side comment? If Hermione was black, why not say so? They are not your tokens of diversity. They are fully fleshed out characters and to add these seemingly very important details years later is just poor effort on your part. 

I do not believe that I can stand by you with a good conscious anymore. You have hurt so many people with your cruel and backwards comments. The people associated with you, Daniel Radcliffe, Katie Leung and many others are now embarrassed to be connected to you. They have had to make public statements condemning you and your actions. It is 2020 and your views are severely outdated. Learn to move forward with time, not against.

I will still remain a fan of Harry Potter, but not of you. It is difficult to separate the two, but it is the only way not to loose the precious memories I have associated with Harry and his magical, supportive world. If I ever choose to buy something that is Harry Potter themed, I will be donating money to charities that support trans people and their rights to balance out the fact that you are getting my hard earned cash, even though you no longer deserve it.

I truly hope that you learn from your mistakes and take the time to educate yourself. You clearly need it and the internet is free, with many incredible resources. In the meantime, I have broken up with you and already feel better for it.

Yours sincerely,

Carenza      

My Favourite LGBT Books| Carenza Bramwell

Happy Pride Month!

June is Pride Month, a whole month of celebrating the LGBT+ community. Obviously, the LGBT+ community is celebrated the whole year, but this month is dedicated to them and their achievements. I am proud to be an ally of the LGBT+ community, something I have been for many years. In today's post I thought I'd share with you some of my favourite LBGT+ books and authors. 

Adam Silvera

Obviously, I had to mention Adam Silvera's books. I have been reading them for many years now and with the only exception being his fantasy novel, I have really enjoyed all of his books. They are always guaranteed to hit you right in the feels. Adam himself identifies as a gay man and his books always feature gay characters. They are widely regarded as good books, especially for their featuring of characters from the LGBT community. I will always get whatever book Adam releases as you know you are in safe hands. 

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst 

I still can't believe that I am waiting for the sequel to this book to come out in paperback in the UK. An LGBT fantasy novel about two girls falling in love? Sign me up! I remember really loving this at the time I first read it back in 2017/18. I will have to reread it before I purchase the sequel, but I love fantasy and I love LGBT novels, so it was perfect for me. It also comes with the added bonus of it being an own voices novel, which is always good in my book. 

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

I remember flying through this back in 2018. I had heard nothing but good things about it and it did not disappoint. It is one of the few books I have see deal with LGBT issues and religion. It is a bit predictable and cliched, but it is a solid read. I would highly recommend it if you haven't read it. The edition I have also came with a bunch of LGBT books, music and films recommended in the back.  

Heartstopper Series by Alice Oseman

These are probably some of my favourites on here. The Heartstopper series is an LGBT graphic novel series that started as an online comic. It is also the only entry on this list that is by a British author and set in Britain. It follows Nick and Charlie, a young couple as the fall in love. The art is beautiful and the story is great. Anything Alice Oseman writes is a god send and I can't wait for her other two books coming out this year. 

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston

This book took the bookish community by storm last year and rightly so. It is a what if novel about if the son of the United States of America fell in love with the Prince of England. It is NA, New Adult, so it is a bit more explicit than your average YA book. It was another fun and fluffy contemporary. I believe Casey is writing another LGBT book and honestly I can't wait, if it's anywhere as good as RW&RB.

Angles in America by Tony Kushner 

I'm technically cheating with this one as it's a play, but it is my favourite thing in the whole wide world. Angels in America is an LGBT play set in 1985 New York and follows a group of people affected by the AIDs crisis. With elements of Magical Realism thrown in, it takes you on an epic journey. I will never stop talking about this play and what it means to me.

Honourable Mentions

I was unsure if I should include these two on my list, but I decided to include them in this little section. The first is Simon Vs the Homosapiens Agenda, or Love, Simon by Becky Albertalli, as it's now known. It is a well known LGBT novel about a boy called Simon who gets outed as gay at his school. It was turned into a film adptation, which I have yet to see. I was hesitant to include it as it is written by a straight author, however it is an excellent LGBT novel.

The next book I was unsure to include are the Gentlemen's Guide series by Mackenzi Lee. Mackenzi Lee has been revealed to be highly problematic, featuring racist and transphobic content in her novels. That being said, I did really enjoy the first Gentlemen's Guide book and saw it as a solid LGBT novel at the time I read it in 2018. 

Those are some of my favourite LGBT novels. What are some of yours?

Carenza :) x

Diverse Books I Want to Read- BAME Edition| Carenza Bramwell

I think you would have to be living under a rock to not know about the situation in America and the movements happening around the world following the death of George Floyd and many other Black Americans. Many people have come out in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, both in person and online. I have decided to do my bit by sharing some books by BAME/POC authors I want to read. Before I share the books I want to read, I am going to be including some links to useful and educational resources to support the BLM movement. If, like me, you are unable to donate, then these are some ways you can help without spending a penny:

Black Lives Matter Petitions- https://blacklivesmatter.com/petitions/

Change.org Petitions- https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-all-black-lives-matter 

Black Lives Matter Educational Information- https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/

The Financial Diet Donate Resource- https://thefinancialdiet.com/what-to-do-where-to-donate-how-to-support-black-lives-matter/

Ways to Help (USA)- https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Black Lives Matter (UK)- http://blacklivesmatteruk.com/

This took me about five minutes of Googling to find all of this. Signing petitions takes very little time and is completely free. There is so much more information out there, including educational resources. I am ashamed to admit that I have never taken the time to educate myself on this important issue, but I am going to start doing my best to be able to help in any way I can. 

The books on this list are all be POC/BAME authors. Reading books is one way of educating yourself and supporting the BLM movement. I know there is a readathon being boosted on Twitter about reading books from Black authors. I will be making my own list of books I own and books I don't for me to make my way through. My entire list is about twenty-five books long and features authors from the BAME community. I will sharing a small fraction of those books, but again with some googling, you could find so many more in lists complied by people with more understanding than me.

Books I Own

Pictured Another Country by James Baldwin

The first book on my list is Go Tell It On A Mountain by James Baldwin. Baldwin was an African-American LGBT writer, who's works were published between the late 1940s to the late 1980s. He was heavily involved in the Civil Rights Movement as well as the Gay Liberation Movement. I've had this book for years and I'm ashamed that I haven't read it. Go Tell It On A Mountain is a semi-autobiographical novel from 1953, featuring the struggles of black men and gay men.

I will add a small note here that in the photograph I have featured a different James Baldwin novel as my copy of Go Tell It On A Mountain is still in storage, but I plan on reading it once I find it.

The second book is a non-fiction book by British journalist, Gary Younge, called Another Day in the Death of America. It follows the lives of ten young people, mostly people of colour, killed in gun crime incidents on the same day. Younge, a black man who had been living in Chicago at the time, links it to incidents in his own life experiencing racism. I had read about a quarter of it a few years ago, but sadly put it down. I will mention that this could be triggering as it does deal with gun crime.

The next books are ones my parents own, but I plan on reading. The first is Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo. The winner of the Booker Prize in 2019, it follows the lives of twelve (mostly black) women. It tells the tales of these twelve women from different parts of the country and at different stages in their lives. I've heard really good things about this one and I am excited to read it.

The final book on this section is a non-fiction book and that is Becoming by Michelle Obama. If you don't know who Michelle Obama is, then I'd be very surprised. My dad is currently reading this and I plan on reading it after him. Michelle Obama has led a very interesting life and after her time in the White House, she has gone on to do so much good for the black community in America. I really want to learn more about her and her life. 

Books I Don't Own

The first book on this list is due to come out on July 2nd (UK Publication date) and is You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson. It follows Liz, who feels she doesn't fit in for a variety of reasons, but decides to run for Prom Queen. Then Mack arrives, who also decides to run for Prom Queen. Mack is just as much an outsider as Liz, and Liz can't help but fall for her competition. An LGBT POC book? Sign me up. You can bet I will be ordering this and reading it as soon as it comes out.

The next book is due to come out September 1st (UK) and is The Black Kids by Christina Hammonds Reed. Described as perfect for fans of THUG by Angie Thomas, it is set in 1992 and follows a group of black teenagers during the race riots in LA. I stumbled across this one by accident, but it sounds provoking and intriguing. 

One that's already out is A Phoenix First Must Burn, edited by Patrice Caldwell with contributions from many YA black authors. It is a collection of sixteen stories where black people take centre stage in genres where they wouldn't usually feature. I think the best way to describe it is to quote the description from the Amazon page "Evoking Beyoncé's Lemonade for a YA audience, these authors have woven worlds to create stunning narratives that centre Black women and gender nonconforming individuals".

My final entry on this list is one I've been meaning to read for a while and that is We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. While the central themes of this book are about feminism, I would like to read this as it isn't written from a white perspective. I only know what it's like to be a white woman and I feel it is my duty as a woman to learn what it is like for all women. 

There are so many books out there you can read, but these are just a few that are on my radar.

Carenza :) x

My Favourite Female Fictional Characters| Carenza Bramwell

I am proud to be a feminist and support my fellow women. A lot of the reasons why I am a feminist stem from my love of female characters in film, TV and books. Today I thought I'd share with you some of my favourites and what I've learnt from them.  

Film and TV

Maeve Wiley

Maeve Wiley arrived onto our screens in 2019 in a flurry of pink hair and no "bullshit"ness. She is a fierce feminist icon, with an incredible sense of fashion and great range of greetings for those in her life. I love Maeve so much that I changed my fashion style to be similar to hers, and found it suited me in the process, and dyed my hair pink. She's also insanely intelligent and regularly states she'd prefer to be at home reading than at a party, which is me to a T.

What I've Learnt from Maeve- I've learnt that you shouldn't let anyone change you. If you are happy and comfortable being who you are, then stay that way. I've also learnt that you can change if that makes you happy. We see that through her relationships with Jackson and Otis. I look forward to seeing where season three takes her. 

Ladybird

Part of the reason why I love Ladybird so much is because at the time I first saw Ladybird, I was going through the exact same thing myself. She wants to escape a hometown she feels constricted by, but finds leaving isn't what she quite hoped from. She's also another reason why I dyed my hair pink. Yes, she is deeply flawed, being shown to be selfish and thoughtless, sometimes even cruel to those around, but she learns from her mistakes. 

What I've Learnt from Ladybird- As I mentioned, while she is shown to be deeply flawed, she acknowledges her flaws and grows from them. She changes after realising that she has made mistakes. She takes the worst bits of herself and turns herself into a better person for her own sake, and those around her. 

Villanelle

Villanelle is an odd one to put on this list as she is an assassin, and has some very worrying character traits. That being said, I can't help but love her. Like Maeve, she is unapologetically herself and when she sets her sights on something, she won't stop until she has that. Even if it means killing a few people on the way. She has a brilliantly cheeky streak to her, and her humour is some of my favourite. 

What I've Learnt from Villanelle- Apart from many ways to kill a person and that the assassin lifestyle is not one I want to try, I've learnt to embrace this childish/cheeky side of me that as a grown up, we are told not to follow. I've also learnt that I am very jealous of people who can speak multiple languages.   

Fleabag 

Fleabag is another odd one to put on this list. At her core, Fleabag is a chaotic individual, who places a lot of her self-worth on her appearance and who she's sleeping with. Outside of that, she is shown to be a caring individual, looking to escape the worst points of her past. She is another women who is unapologetically herself and unafraid to be a bit outspoken, as we see with her admissions on feminism.

What I've Learnt from Fleabag- It is a bit repetitive of me, but I've learnt that it is genuinely okay to be yourself. This is something as women we are often told we have to change to fit societies views of us. Fleabag doesn't change for anyone.    

Captain Marvel 

Captain Marvel exploded onto our screens in 2019 and took the typically male superhero genre by surprise. Going and seeing this in the cinema, the first time I had ever seen a female centred superhero film with a close female friend of mine was life changing. For once, I thought maybe I could be the hero. Her ability to fight doesn't degrade her femininity. She has the perfect balance between both.  

What I've Learnt from Captain Marvel- The scene where it shows all the versions of Carol being knocked down, then getting up, before she turns to the villain and says that she doesn't have to prove anything to him, made me fall in love with her. It's a valuable life lesson, that you don't have to prove your worthiness to anyone.   

Books

Hermione Granger

Hermione Granger was the first female character that I truly fell in love with. I remember when I was little, a friend of mine and I would play at being in the "Harry Potter world" and it was always a competition to be Hermione. She is fiercely loyal and insanely intelligent. She also has to deal with Ron and Harry being idiots for seven years. She takes her status as Muggle Born in her stride and never lets it lower her potential as a witch. She is an incredible icon for girls and women.

What I've Learnt form Hermione- Embrace your intelligence. She is proud of her intelligence, and works hard to maintain that status. She also teaches us that there are more important things than "books and cleverness", that it is important to have friends, as she learns.

Tessa Gray 

Art by Taratjah

Tessa Gray is the only person that could put Will Herondale in his place. She arrives in London and turns his world upside down. She cares deeply for those around her. Like many of the women on this list, she is funny and intelligent. She is a strong female character in a world where strong women weren't as well accepted. 

What I've Learnt from Tessa- Compassion and caring don't make us weak. It's expected of us as women, but a little kindness never hurt anyone. It's the golden rule, treat others as you wish to be treated. 

So those are some of my favourite female fictional characters. Who are your favourite female characters?

Carenza :) x

Why I'm Going to Cut Back on Physical Books| Carenza Bramwell

As much as I love collecting books, it has reached a point where I have to acknowledge that I have more books than I have space for. Although it breaks my heart, I will have to part with some books and I will also have to cut back on the amount of physical books I buy. In this post, I will be sharing some of my thoughts on my book collection and the amount of books I buy.

A box of books I prepared to donate to my local community recently

My Shelf Space

I am in a very privileged position to still be able to live at home with my parents. I am in an even more privileged position to have my own little office/library space in our new home. For Christmas 2019, I got three Billy bookcases to fill one of the walls in my office. I now have a space to store all of my books. 

My Book Buying Habits

Back in 2016, when I first discovered there was a book community online, I went a bit crazy seeing all these people with all these amazing shelves online. I thought that to be a reader, my shelves had to look like that. So I bought a lot of books in 2016, mostly from charity shops. It's safe to say that my book buying habits have changed a lot since then. I am a much more picky reader and book buyer. I haven't bought a single book in May, I'm honestly amazed with myself. 

Why I'm Cutting Back?

To put it simply, I am cutting back on the amount of physical books I buy for two reasons- space and money. I am a student and being a student is very expensive, so I would like to save my money for books I really want to read. I also want my shelves to be filled with books I love and reflect me as a reader.

Recently, I've been reading a lot of three star books, which is an average for me. However, I very rarely feel attached to these books and have been making piles of books to donate when the shops reopen. I plan on buying myself a Kindle so I can start to read more eBooks, there by saving space on my shelves and saving me a penny or two on new purchases. I will still be an avid reader and book purchaser, I am just trying to be more selective with the books I add to my physical collection. 

Carenza :) x

The Joys of Rereading| Carenza Bramwell

When I first properly became a reader and aware of the reading community when I was fourteen, I had a very small collection of books. It could have filled a shelf and was all the YA classics at the time. The Mortal Instruments. The Hunger Games. Divergent. I was a big fan of all them at the time. Back then, as I had such a small collection of books, I would reread them all the times. I must have reread the Divergent series at least three times in one year. 

Now that I have a much larger collection after many years of accumulating books, my rereads have become far and few. I typically reserve it for favourites of mine, books by Cassandra Clare and the Harry Potter series. Recently, I reread the first Noughts and Crosses book for the first time since I was fourteen. I had watched the TV show adaptation and wanted to refresh my memory on it. Rereading it got me thinking about rereads in general. 

Why Is It So Comforting?

As a reader, I am always looking for new worlds and stories to consume. I am always ploughing through books just so I can start the next. Yet, when I do reread old favourites, it is an oddly comforting experience. It's like crawling into bed after a long day. Returning to familiar worlds, yet still being shocked by the twists and turns. To put it simply, it's nice to be in worlds you know and with characters you love. 

Finding the Balance Between Old and New

In an ideal world, I would be able to read as many new books as possible while having time to return to favourites. However, in the real world there simply isn't enough time to read all the unread books on my TBR, especially if I'm giving up that time to reread books. Something I plan on doing more in the future, is rereading books so I can continue with the series I have started. I would like to tackle more of the series on my TBR and my problem is that I have read the first book, but have never made an effort to continue. There, I would find the perfect balance, between old and new books. 

Those are some of my thoughts on rereading books. What are your thoughts on rereading books?

Carenza :) x 

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo Book Review| Carenza Bramwell

Title- If I Was Your Girl
Author- Meredith Russo
Series- N/A
Published- 2016
Page Count- 293
Publishing House- Usbourne Publishing
Rating- 3/5 stars

About the Author

MEREDITH RUSSO was born, raised, and lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She is a mother to a wonderful four year old, a cat with an attitude problem, and a few dozen trans people around the globe. Her star sign is Aries and one of her birth arcana is the Tower, so naturally she is a disaster.

Her debut novel, If I Was Your Girl, won the Stonewall Award in 2016, as well as honors for the Walter Dean Myers Diversity Award and the Lambda Literary Award. She has also contributed to Radical Hope, Meet Cute, (Don't) Call Me Crazy, and the New York Times. The best place to keep up to date on her current work is Patreon, where she publishes one short story, one novel chapter, and small multimedia side projects every month. Her next major novel, Birthday, is set for release in April 2019.

You definitely, absolutely should not be shy about contacting her, even if it's just to talk. She's always open to new opportunities and chances to speak with new people.

Taken from Meredith's website.

Plot

Amanda Hardy is the new girl at school. Like everyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is holding back. Even from Grant, the guy she's falling in love with. Amanda has a secret. At her old school, she used to be called Andrew. And secrets always have a way of getting out. A book about loving yourself and being loved for who you really are.

Taken from Goodreads.

Opinions

I had picked up If I Was Your Girl back in 2017 as a part of the diversity bingo challenge that was floating around, but for some reason I never picked it up at the time. I am now trying to tackle my TBR pile as much as I can and this was one of two unread contemporary books I had, so I decided to read it. Going into it, I knew it was an own voices novel about a trans girl written by a trans author. I really enjoy reading own voices books, especially as they capture their stories so well. 

I flew through this book, reading it over two days. I am a big fan of easy to read books and this one was no exception. I enjoyed my time reading it. The story was fun, while tackling some of the heavier issues such as gender dysmorphia and suicide. It found a nice balance between the sweet and serious in this book.

That being said, I did feel that to story was underdeveloped. You could really tell that it was a debut novel. As a writer and someone who is doing a degree in Creative Writing, I felt that this book didn't follow the golden rule of "show don't tell". We were very much told everything rather than shown it. This is something I've become hyper-aware of since I started studying writing myself, but I'm always able to pick up when something isn't quite right in a book. Personally, I would have benefited from more backstory. We got some backstory, especially for Amanda, but the rest of the characters didn't have quite the same level of detail. 

I think that because of the writing style, this book suffered in the character development department. All the characters felt a bit 2D to me and none of them were really fleshed out properly. I couldn't connect to a single one of them. They were also supposed to be between the ages of 17-19, but none of them felt it. They came across much younger than they were written. 

I hate to be overtly negative, especially as I did enjoy this book, it just ended not being 100% for me. I did learn a lot about the trans community and experience, something I had never really thought about before as a cis gendered person. I have made the decision to donate my copy as I feel someone else will benefit from it more than me, but I'm still glad I decided to take the time to read it.

Carenza :) x  

Tackling my TBR| Carenza Bramwell

At the time of writing this post, I have just under 60 TBR books on my bookshelves. I will say that this is not my entire unread TBR as in December my family and I moved into a new house. We've been slowly moving in and sorting things out, but our process has been halted due to lockdown. I am very fortunate to have this many unread books on my bookshelves. 

As a reader, it is my goal to be always tackling my TBR, but since lockdown started, I have been making more of a dedicated effort to read my growing pile of unread books. In this post I thought I would share some of my thoughts on this process as a way to inspire other readers to tackle our TBR piles. 

How I'm Doing It

A big question, is how am I tackling my TBR pile? I used to be someone who would make TBR lists and stick to them religiously. However, I found that didn't work for me and I haven't done it for many years. In the recent months, particularly since lockdown started, I have started to make mini TBR lists.

I started this process by handwriting a list of all my unread books in my creative journal and grouping them together by genre. It made it easy if I was looking for something in particular to read. It also meant once I had read a book, I could have the satisfaction of ticking off the book from that list. I also have a digital copy on my Goodreads account, partly for ease of moving them between my TBR list to my "read" list. It is a daunting process to handwrite out all the unread books you own, but I would strongly recommend it. It helps you visualise which books you haven't read and which genres you have most unread books in. 

As I mentioned, I've started to make these mini TBR lists. I have monthly divider pages, in which I plan my goals for that month. At the top of this page, I have started to pick five books from a wide range of genres that I have to read that month. I chose five as that's typically how many books I read a month. Five books is an achievable amount in my life and it meant that if I completed it, I could read other books as well. I tried to pick books from a wide range of genres to expand my reading and tackle more areas of my TBR. I've always found that by reading one particular genre, I get tired of that genre and want to read something else. This means that I am always excited for my next read.

Since doing this, I have noticed that I am reading more books. I haven't had the best reading year for me due to various reasons, but I've always found that during the summer months, when I have a bit more time on my hands, I read books quicker. So far in May, I have completed almost seven books, which is really good for me. 

What Have I Learnt From Doing This?

The ravenclaw in me cannot escape the need to learn, and so, I thought I'd share with you what I've learnt from doing this. I've learnt that there are genres that I naturally gravitate towards (fantasy and contemporary) and ones I tend to avoid (dystopian, sci-fi, classics etc). I am very much a creature of habit and I don't really like to leave that comfort zone. 

I have a lot of unread books from when I first joined the book community in 2016 and felt that I had to catch up on all the hyped up books. Some of them I have enjoyed, others not so much. I feel guilty for not having read them, especially after hearing about them for years. 

As a reader, my bookshelves should "define me". You should be able to see what sort of books I love to read. However, I don't feel that they reflect me and my interests that well. Tackling my TBR will make it easier for me to have a more treasured book collection.

One thing I have learnt, but was unsurprised to see is that I am terrible at finishing series. I have a lot of first books in a series but have never gotten around to reading the rest. I also have a few where I have one or two books unread in that series, but it's been years since I picked up the rest of the books and have forgotten. I'm not the biggest fan of rereading books, something I used to do a lot when I was a young reader. I want to get better at finishing series.

So those were some of my thoughts on my TBR and how I've been tackling it. What are your thoughts on your own TBR piles?

Carenza :) x 

Creator vs Content- Book Topic Discussion| Carenza Bramwell

Something I have wanted to make a post about for a while is the discussion between Creator vs Content. I've always found it interesting to distinguish the creator from the content. This topic has been cropping up more and more in the bookish community and I thought I'd share some of my opinions on it.  

What Do I Mean "Creator vs Content"?

In a nutshell I mean the link between the creator (author etc) and the content (book etc). Is it possible to separate the two? Can you enjoy someone's work while having different opinions on them?

Can You Like Someone's Work But Not Them?

It's a difficult question to answer, but I would say yes, you don't have to "like" someone to enjoy what they've made. It can be difficult to separate them from their work, but it shouldn't stop you from liking what they've done. Some examples of this include JK Rowling and the Harry Potter series. In the last year or so, JK Rowling has been accused of supporting a transphobic individual on Twitter and faced heavy backlash for doing so. Many people in the book and harry potter communities were very upset by this. Whether she intended to do this or not, it severally damaged her reputation. She has since continued to Tweet in support of transphobic content. Personally, I will not support anyone who says anything harmful towards others in any capacity. However, the Harry Potter books are still some of my most beloved and treasured. I will adore them forever. I no longer "like" JK Rowling as an individual, but I still enjoy her content as it is absorbed into my life.

Another example of creator vs content is Mackenzi Lee and her recent controversy. Since the publication of The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue in 2018, a book I loved, she has been accused of several things. Something I didn't spot at the time of reading GGTVAV, was the racist undertones in the book. There was some outcry over this at the time and Lee apologised for her writing. Then with the release of her upcoming book, The Madness Blooms, she was once again accused. This time of being transphobic and misgendering one of her characters for the sake of the plot and shock value. Again, she apologised and the blurb has been rewritten. However, in her most recent controversy, she made no formal apology and joked about the issue. Through the bookstore she works at, she signed and personalised books by authors of colour without their permission. It was a poor choice on her half and has lead to many in the book community refusing to buy her books. I was planning on reading her upcoming books, but have decided that I cannot do that after what she has done. I still enjoyed the books I'v read from her, but what she did was wrong and hurtful.

I still enjoyed the books I've read from both these authors, but I am now more reluctant to admit so and to continue supporting them. I will not be getting rid of their books, but I am hesitant to buy new ones from them. Liking their work does not make you a bad person. It can be difficult to separate them from what they've written, but art and artist are two very different things. 

What are your thoughts on creator vs content? Are their more examples of creators and their content that I haven't mentioned?

Carenza :) x   

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell Book Review (Contains Spoilers)| Carenza Bramwell

Title- My Dark Vanessa
Author- Kate Elizabeth Russell
Series- N/A
Published- 2020
Page Count-369 pages
Publishing House- 4th Estate
Rating- 4/5 stars

About the Author

I’m a writer living in Madison, Wisconsin. My debut novel, My Dark Vanessa, is forthcoming from William Morrow (US), 4th Estate (UK), and will be translated into over twenty languages.

Originally from eastern Maine, I earned an MFA from Indiana University and a PhD from the University of Kansas.

you can find me on twitter @GinnyMcCoo
and on instagram @kateelizabethrussell

Taken from Kate's website.

Plot

An era-defining novel about the relationship between a fifteen-year-old girl and her teacher

ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND THE WORLD TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER

Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had sex with her English teacher. She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student. Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that. Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many. Nuanced, uncomfortable, bold and powerful, and as riveting as it is disturbing, My Dark Vanessa goes straight to the heart of some of the most complex issues our age is grappling with.

Taken from Goodreads.

Opinions 

I picked this book up after seeing emmmabooks rave about it. I've been wanting to read more modern literature and when I saw this on sale for £7 at my local Tesco's, I just had to get it. I went into it expecting more of a psychological element and ended up being surprised by what I read.  

I've been in a bit of reading slump in 2020, due to various reasons, so when I ended up flying through this one and reading it in three days, I was very happy. Normally, I cannot stand first person perspective (for some reason), and when I found out this one was in first person, I was a bit apprehensive. However, I didn't mind it for once and found it easier to read because it was written in the first person perspective. It meant you could connect more with Vanessa as a character. 

I really enjoyed the jumping back and forth between Vanessa's two timelines. It was an interesting comparison into how she felt at the time and how she'd repressed her memories of her relationship with Strane. I have to admit that after a while, the sex scenes between her and Strane became a bit repetitive and gratuitous. I think less would have had a more powerful impact. 

Something I felt would have made this a more powerful novel is that if it had been slightly shorter. As I mentioned above, if there had been less sex scenes, it would have had more of an impact. I also didn't care for the storyline with her and Henry, it felt a bit pointless. It felt as though it was trying to repeat the storyline with Strane. 

I have a feeling that this would make an amazing miniseries, if the right creative team got behind it. It's one I'd really like to see adapted for the screen. Overall, I found My Dark Vanessa to be a powerful and poignant book. I would like to read more from Kate Elizabeth Russell and to read more modern lit tackling heavier topics such as the MeToo movement. 

Carenza :) x  

Chain of Gold Fairyloot Collectors Box Review| Carenza Bramwell

It's been many years since I did a Fairyloot review, but when Fairyloot announced they were doing a Chain of Gold special edition box, I just had to get one. It was an impulse purchase when they released the second batch. 

What is Fairyloot?

Fairyloot is a UK YA book box that sends out monthly boxes with new YA releases and a bunch of bookish goodies. In the past year, they have branched out into special edition boxes for certain releases. For more information, click here.

How Much Did This Box Cost?

This box cost £35 plus postage and taxes. A normal Fairyloot box costs £26 plus postage and taxes. I will say that collectors boxes are much bigger than normal boxes.

The Box

The first item in the box was a replica of the Mortal Cup made by Team Fairyloot. This is something that crops up in every single Shadowhunter book. The quality is good, although in a few places the paint job is a bit battered. It's a sturdy replica and looks great on my shelf, so much more so than the one I made myself many years ago.

Next was an item that made my jaw drop when I saw it and that is this James and Cordelia Tapestry designed by monolimeart. At first I thought it was a blanket but it is a tapestry and looks amazing hanging by my bed. It features James and Cordelia from their romantic scene in the library. 

A staple of bookish boxes is the beloved bookmark. The bookmark featured in this box was a wooden one, with art on both sides. The illustration of our beloved Cordelia is by niru.sky and the quote is from stellabookishart. I love both sides and have put in my mug of bookmarks as it is too beautiful to use. 

Something I have always wanted but never bought is a book sleeve to protect my books, so when Fairyloot included one in this box I was over the moon. It is very well padded and even has a zip at the top to make sure nothing gets in with your precious book. The side with James on it is designed by one of my favourite bookish artists, Taratjah, and the quote side was designed by noverantale. 

The final item in this box is a stunning art print of the Chain of Gold boys, designed by merwildandco. I adore this print and am searching for where I can display so I can always look at their beautiful faces.

Finally, we have the book in the box. It is in this stunning black edition, which I've been told is very similar to the Waterstones edition. It has sprayed edges with swords on them. It has been completely redesigned for this box and I'm so glad to have this exclusive version from this box. 

Was It Worth It?

I would have to say that it 100% was worth it. The items are unique and ones that I'll actually use. The edition is stunning and it was an affordable price. They have a collectors box for the sequel to Serpent and Dove, Blood and Honey and I am so going to be getting it after the success of this box.

Carenza :) x 

What I've Been Reading Recently- Lockdown Edition| Carenza Bramwell

It's time again to share with you some of the books I've read recently. In total I have ten books to share with you for the months of March and April. Without further ado, here are the books I read in the last couple of months.

March

The first book I completed in March was Sword of Destiny by Andrezj Sapkowski, the second book in the Witcher series. I had read the first one back in January and really enjoyed it. However, this one just didn't do it for me for the most part. Most of the stories were too long and I kept on getting confused. I ended up giving it 3/5 stars.

I then read one of my most anticipated releases of the year, Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare. I have a review for this, which you can read here. Obviously I loved this book with all my heart and I am dying to get back to this world. I gave it 5/5 stars. 

My next read was the fourth and final book in the Charlotte Holmes series, A Question of Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro. I loved the first two books in this series, but the third and fourth ones fell flat for me. I think this one was my least favourite as I didn't enjoy the mystery and the ending just wasn't what I wanted it to be. I gave it 3/5 stars.

Next I picked up a book that I never thought I'd read and that is House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas, the first book in her new adult fantasy series. I had seen everyone raving about it so I decided to pick it up. The pacing was on and off at times, but I loved the characters and it restored my faith in Sarah J Maas to some extent. I will be picking up the sequel. I gave it 4/5 stars.

The last book I read in March was The Beautiful by Renee Adhieh. This was my first ever Renee Adhieh book. I had heard that The Beautiful was the book to bring back vampires, so I was excited. The first half was great, but I didn't care for the second half. I have a full review of this book on my blog, if you want to read that, you can click here. I gave it 3.5/5 stars.

April

My first reread of 2020 was Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman. I loved this series in my early teens and with the recent BBC adaptation I had to pick it up. I was surprised that I still really enjoyed it and I do plan on rereading the rest of the series. I gave it 4/5 stars. 

Another reread for me was Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone by JK Rowling. Over on Instagram, there is a readathon for the Harry Potter series while everyone is stuck inside. As it's been a few years since I read the series, I decided to join in. I obviously gave it 5/5 stars. 

I then read Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo. This was one I had seen lots of praise for, so I decided to pick it up. I found this book very difficult to read as I felt at times the world wasn't really explained. I think I would read it again, now that I know what happens. My main complaint with this book was that it could have been a lot shorter. The mystery was dragged out too much. I gave it 3/5 stars. 

Next I picked up My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. I picked this up after seeing Emmmabooks rave about it. I'm trying to read more modern lit and this sounded really interesting. It is about the MeToo movement from the perspective of one of the victims. It could have been a little bit shorter as there was a section towards the end that just didn't make sense, but apart from that I really enjoyed this book. I gave it 4/5 stars. 

April was just the month of rereads for me as I then read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling. I read my illustrated edition for the first time since I got it and loved it. The illustrations are beautiful and I need to get the rest in this series as I only have the first two. I gave it 5/5 stars. 

So that concludes my wrap up for the past two months. I'm hoping to have more time to read in the coming months.

Carenza :) x