If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo Book Review| Carenza Bramwell

Title- If I Was Your Girl
Author- Meredith Russo
Series- N/A
Published- 2016
Page Count- 293
Publishing House- Usbourne Publishing
Rating- 3/5 stars

About the Author

MEREDITH RUSSO was born, raised, and lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee. She is a mother to a wonderful four year old, a cat with an attitude problem, and a few dozen trans people around the globe. Her star sign is Aries and one of her birth arcana is the Tower, so naturally she is a disaster.

Her debut novel, If I Was Your Girl, won the Stonewall Award in 2016, as well as honors for the Walter Dean Myers Diversity Award and the Lambda Literary Award. She has also contributed to Radical Hope, Meet Cute, (Don't) Call Me Crazy, and the New York Times. The best place to keep up to date on her current work is Patreon, where she publishes one short story, one novel chapter, and small multimedia side projects every month. Her next major novel, Birthday, is set for release in April 2019.

You definitely, absolutely should not be shy about contacting her, even if it's just to talk. She's always open to new opportunities and chances to speak with new people.

Taken from Meredith's website.

Plot

Amanda Hardy is the new girl at school. Like everyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is holding back. Even from Grant, the guy she's falling in love with. Amanda has a secret. At her old school, she used to be called Andrew. And secrets always have a way of getting out. A book about loving yourself and being loved for who you really are.

Taken from Goodreads.

Opinions

I had picked up If I Was Your Girl back in 2017 as a part of the diversity bingo challenge that was floating around, but for some reason I never picked it up at the time. I am now trying to tackle my TBR pile as much as I can and this was one of two unread contemporary books I had, so I decided to read it. Going into it, I knew it was an own voices novel about a trans girl written by a trans author. I really enjoy reading own voices books, especially as they capture their stories so well. 

I flew through this book, reading it over two days. I am a big fan of easy to read books and this one was no exception. I enjoyed my time reading it. The story was fun, while tackling some of the heavier issues such as gender dysmorphia and suicide. It found a nice balance between the sweet and serious in this book.

That being said, I did feel that to story was underdeveloped. You could really tell that it was a debut novel. As a writer and someone who is doing a degree in Creative Writing, I felt that this book didn't follow the golden rule of "show don't tell". We were very much told everything rather than shown it. This is something I've become hyper-aware of since I started studying writing myself, but I'm always able to pick up when something isn't quite right in a book. Personally, I would have benefited from more backstory. We got some backstory, especially for Amanda, but the rest of the characters didn't have quite the same level of detail. 

I think that because of the writing style, this book suffered in the character development department. All the characters felt a bit 2D to me and none of them were really fleshed out properly. I couldn't connect to a single one of them. They were also supposed to be between the ages of 17-19, but none of them felt it. They came across much younger than they were written. 

I hate to be overtly negative, especially as I did enjoy this book, it just ended not being 100% for me. I did learn a lot about the trans community and experience, something I had never really thought about before as a cis gendered person. I have made the decision to donate my copy as I feel someone else will benefit from it more than me, but I'm still glad I decided to take the time to read it.

Carenza :) x  

Book Review- Sadie by Courtney Summers (Contains Spoilers)| CarenzaOnBooks

Taken from Google Images

Title- Sadie
Author- Courtney Summers
Series- N/A
Published- 2018
Page Count- 308 (1st Edition, Hardcover) audiobook- 7 hours 57 mins
Publishing House- Wednesday Books
Genre- YA Contemporary/Mystery
Rating- 5/5 stars

About the Author

Courtney Summers (born 1986 in Belleville, Ontario, Canada) is a Canadian writer of young adult fiction. Her most famous known works are Cracked Up to Be, This is Not a Test, All the Rage, and Sadie.

Taken from Wikipedia 

Plot

A missing girl on a journey of revenge. A Serial―like podcast following the clues she's left behind. And an ending you won't be able to stop talking about.

Sadie hasn't had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she's been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water.

But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie's entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister's killer to justice and hits the road following a few meagre clues to find him.

When West McCray―a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America―overhears Sadie's story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie's journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it's too late.

Courtney Summers has written the breakout book of her career. Sadie is propulsive and harrowing and will keep you riveted until the last page.

Taken from Goodreads

Opinions

Before I even start going into depth about my opinions on this book, I would highly recommend the audiobook for this book. It's partly the reason why I got my audible subscription. I had heard amazing things about it and it did not disappoint at all. It's a full cast recording, so pretty much every character is narrated by a different person. If you are looking for an incredible audiobook experience, then look no further. 

Something I think is a universally liked thing about Sadie is the way it's written. The format of it being told through traditional storytelling elements and mixed media is really interesting. You go back and forth between Sadie's POV as the story is happening to her and the podcast told by West McCray after the events have happened. You almost have to piece the two storylines together to get the whole picture. You start and end from the POV of the podcast, which as someone studying writing, is a really interesting decision to make. The way it was written plus the audiobook adaptation meant I was hooked until the end. I cared about both storylines and was trying to work out what would come next after each chapter ended.     

I'm not sure if it's just me but I found the killer to be somewhat predictable. When it was revealed that it was the ex-boyfriend of the mother, I wasn't really surprised. I would have liked for it to have been slightly more shocking than it was. This is pretty much the only negative thing I can think of about the book as I really enjoyed everything else about it. 

I felt that the book handled the dark elements really well. As it deals with a young girls murder, it is to be expected that there are some dark themes in this book. These include drug abuse, paedophilia, sexual abuse, murder and destructive behaviour. All of these themes, plus some others that I'm fairly sure I've missed, were dealt with in a way that wasn't derogatory at all. Listening to some of the events being described made me feel sick to my stomach. Throughout the novel, it is hinted that Keith (the killer) sexually abused Sadie and then later Mattie. Although it is hinted constantly, the chapter which goes into some details made me shiver. Despite some of the characters truly awful behaviours, they were never dehumanised. They always felt human and I'm glad that these dark and somewhat disturbing themes were handled well. 

 

I know it says it in the blurb that the ending will be one you cannot stop talking about, but that ending took my breath away. I am so desperate to learn what happened to Sadie as it is left to the reader's imagination. A part of me is pleased that Courtney didn't tell us that she was either found alive or dead, as that would have ruined the ending slightly, but I can't help but need to know what happened to her. I like to believe that she continues on her journey of helping all the girls that Keith abused, but there is a little voice in the back on my mind saying that she died during her fight with Keith. I hope one day it is revealed what happened to Sadie, but for now, it will remain a mystery.

  

Book Review- Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia (Contains Spoilers)| CarenzaOnBooks

Title- Eliza and Her Monsters
Author- Francesca Zappia
Series- N/A
Published- 2017
Page Count- 432
Publishing House- Greenwillow Books
Genre- YA Contemporary
Rating- 4/5 stars

About the Author

Francesca Zappia is the award-winning author of Made You Up, Eliza and Her Monsters, and the serialized novel The Children of Hypnos. She is represented by Louise Fury of the Bent Agency. She graduated from the University of Indianapolis with a degree in Computer Science and Mathematics, and currently lives in Indiana. She spends her free time drawing, playing video games, and baking.

She looks mean, but she's actually a ball of floof on the inside.

You can find her on Twitter and Instagram @ChessieZappia, on Goodreads, and on Pinterest. She also sells her artwork at her Society6 shop.

Taken from Francesca's website

Plot

“A love letter to fandom, friendship, and the stories that shape us, Eliza and Her Monsters is absolutely magical.”—Marieke Nijkamp, New York Times–bestselling author of This Is Where It Ends

Eighteen-year-old Eliza Mirk is the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea, but when a new boy at school tempts her to live a life offline, everything she’s worked for begins to crumble.

Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl meets Noelle Stevenson’s Nimona in this acclaimed novel about art, fandom, and finding the courage to be yourself. “A must-have.”—School Library Journal

In the real world, Eliza Mirk is shy, weird, and friendless. Online, Eliza is LadyConstellation, anonymous creator of a popular webcomic called Monstrous Sea. With millions of followers and fans throughout the world, Eliza’s persona is popular. Eliza can’t imagine enjoying the real world as much as she loves her digital community.

Then Wallace Warland transfers to her school and Eliza begins to wonder if a life offline might be worthwhile. But when Eliza’s secret is accidentally shared with the world, everything she’s built—her story, her relationship with Wallace, and even her sanity—begins to fall apart.

With pages from Eliza’s webcomic, as well as screenshots from Eliza’s online forums, this uniquely formatted book will appeal to fans of Noelle Stevenson’s Nimona and Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl. The paperback edition includes bonus material and never-before-seen art from the author.

Taken from Goodreads

Opinions

I had been meaning to pick up Eliza and Her Monsters for some time after hearing everyone raving about it. I finally picked up as I had heard nothing but good things about it. I found it to be an engaging read that was also really quick. I think I read it in a couple of days. On the whole, I enjoyed it, but I had a few issues with it. I would recommend it to others and am interested in reading her other book, Made You Up. 

To me, it felt that it handled some of the more darker themes really well. Eliza throughout the course of the book is diagnosed with anxiety and is clearly struggling with it throughout. Wallace is a mute boy who also has some traumatic experiences in his past and clearly struggles due to them. I felt that the way Zappia handled Eliza's anxiety was an accurate portrayal and Wallace's dad's suicide was also handled with care. The book had a very dark tone, but it was still really enjoyable. With the themes of fandoms and friendship weaved throughout, it felt like a very relatable book. In places, it wasn't realistic, such as Eliza having enough money to go to college and her parents not knowing. I think the way that Zappia handled these themes was one of the most enjoyable elements of the book.

   

This might just be me, but at times Eliza was and wasn't a likeable character. I could relate to her in certain ways, but in others, I found her irritating. I understand that she had mental health problems, but she could be cruel towards her brothers and how little she knew about their lives. I also felt that she was cruel to her parents a lot of time and treated them like they were idiots. She kept them out of the loop and it blew up in her face, which wasn't surprising. I have mixed feelings about what I feel about Eliza. I think it might just be me as I haven't seen anyone else say anything on the reviews I've read.   

From the get-go, I knew that Eliza's secret would be revealed and that it would blow up in her face. It was very predictable in that way. I think the way Zappia revealed Eliza's secret was clever, but that didn't mean that it was any less shocking. I knew it was going to happen and when it did, I was like "oh, okay, what's next?". I feel like it could have been a huge moment but it fell a bit flat for me. It was also predictable that her secret was going to ruin her relationship with Wallace, but that they would inevitably make it up. As soon as you learnt he was a part of the fandom, it lost its shock value. This didn't make the novel any less enjoyable, I just feel it could have been done slightly better for the effect she was going for. 

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that I am not a fan of the fixed by love mental health trope and sadly this book had this trope. It would have been so much more powerful if Eliza and Wallace's relationship was platonic and it was two friends just spending time with each other. I think it's cliched that two people would fall in love and magically no longer have any mental health problems. This was the one big issue I had with the book and if it hadn't had this trope, I would have (maybe) given it five stars, not four. 

Book Review- Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (Contains Spoilers)| CarenzaOnBooks

Title- Radio Silence
Author- Alice Oseman
Series- N/A
Published- 2016
Page Count- 416
Publishing House- Harper Collins
Genre- YA Contemporary
Rating- 5/5 stars

About the Author

Alice Oseman was born in 1994 in Kent, England. She completed a degree in English at Durham University in 2016 and is currently a full-time writer and illustrator. Alice can usually be found staring aimlessly at computer screens, questioning the meaninglessness of existence, or doing anything and everything to avoid getting an office job.

Alice's first book, SOLITAIRE, was published when she was nineteen. Her second, RADIO SILENCE, was released in early 2016, and her third, I WAS BORN FOR THIS, in 2018.

(Taken from Alice's Website)

Plot

What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong? Frances is been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time she's unafraid to be herself. So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. Now Frances knows that she has to confront her past. To confess why Carys disappeared... Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has. Engaging with themes of identity, diversity and the freedom to choose, Radio Silence is a tor de force by the most exciting writer of her generation.

(Taken from Goodreads)

Opinions

I want to preface this blog by saying that this year, I have only read 7 5 star books. To put this into context, I have read 65 books at the time of writing this. I used to hand out 5 stars all the time, but now I have become very reluctant to give them out. To me, a 5-star book should be truly phenomenal and blow your mind. It should be one of your favourite books of the year. I would happily say that at the time of writing this and publishing it, that Radio Silence meets these criteria. 

I had wanted to read Alice Oseman's novels for a while, especially after picking up the first two volumes in the Heartstopper series (both of which I gave 5 stars and am waiting for the final two volumes to be published next year). My wonderful best friend got me all of her current novels published for my birthday at the end of August and I have since read them all. Radio Silence quickly established itself as my favourite. 

I have a feeling this is something I have mentioned on here before, but in case you are new to my blog or have just stumbled across it, I really don't like the first-person perspective. Despite the fact that every sentence begins with "I", "my" or "me", I find it hard to connect with the character telling the story. I find it oddly off-putting for some reason. This is one of the few first-person perspectives I have actually liked. I found that, in a way, I was able to connect to the main character in the story. I found her relatable and if I had picked this up a year ago, I would have found it spookily relatable.

Frances is a study machine, academia is her life and she doesn't really have much time for anything else. Except for Universe City, a YouTube podcast that she is obsessed with. At school, she is a goody-two-shoes, head girl and has a reputation for being a study machine. But at home, she is different and is more comfortable with being herself. There were definitely elements of her story that I related to. When I was in secondary school, I was known for being very hardworking and was always expected to get the top grades. I'll cut to the chase and let you know that I very rarely got the top grades, and when people found this out, people would say to my face "but I thought you were smart". On an almost spiritual level, I related to Frances because it's hard when people only see you as a study machine or smart kid. I loved the journey that Frances went on from wanting to go to Cambridge to realising there is more to life than education. It's a similar journey to myself (though I never even thought of applying to Oxbridge because there was no way I was getting into those schools). I've reached a point in my life where I am happy with what I'm doing and grades don't mean everything to me, though it has taken me a very long time to get to this point in my life. 

The supporting cast was great too. Aled was a wonderful addition to this book and it was refreshing to see a boy-girl friendship that didn't evolve into a relationship. I wish there were more books like this. It also had a fantastic amount of LGBTQ+ representation (as do all of Alice Oseman's books). Frances was bisexual, Aled was a demisexual asexual, Daniel was gay and I believe Raine and Carys end up in a relationship. It also tackled some very heavy themes such as academic stress and mental health, as well as abusive parents. Aled and Carey's mother was abusive towards them, to the point of pushing them away forever. The abuse included forcing them to dress and look a certain way, burning their possessions, taking important things away from them, forcing Aled to close down his podcast, killing the family dog (via putting it down) and pressuring them academically. It made me uncomfortable that it was only the "kids" in this book that challenged the mother and that none of the adults did anything about it. To knowingly let someone be abused is unacceptable and I have spotted that in Alice's books parents are great at being parents (which not every parent is, but they are all suspiciously absent-minded).  

The reveal that Aled was the creator of Frances favourite podcast was almost a shock except from the fact as soon as she heard his voice it should have been obvious. Frances listens to this podcast religiously, yet it took her a while to work out it was Aled. It was still a cute moment and moved the story forward nicely. Although I gave this book five stars, I will say that the big reveal about Carys was a bit disappointing. When you read the blurb, you expect this epic mystery about why she disappeared off the face of the earth. I genuinely expected her to be found dead or it to be very dramatic. It was revealed that she left of her own volition due to her mothers' abuse, which is a valid reason to leave, but it felt as though it was building to something a bit bigger. She was also very easily convinced to return to her home life. I personally would have liked a bit more from this reveal.

Radio Silence was a moving story about friendship, negotiating teenage life and deciding what to do with your life. Alice Oseman is exceptionally good at making her teenage characters feel realistic and capturing what it's like to be a teenager in this day and age. I look forward to reading her next book, LOVELESS (coming out in 2020)